“Like what?” Felicity asked.
“I don’t know... ignore me.”
“Hailee, did something happen?”
“No... yes...” I released a weary sigh. “I don’t know.”
“Okay,” she said, “start from the beginning.”
So I did. I told her how Cameron and I made the calendar for Xander, how it was supposed to help him count off the days until he saw his brother. I told her how the visits were becoming more and more regular, and the time we spent together was becoming less and less. I even told her how we’d barely been intimate lately.
“What, like no sex, at all?”
“We’ve fooled around a little, but no, no sex.”
“God, Hails, how are you functioning right now? I can’t go more than a couple of days.”
“It’s not by choice, trust me.”
Cameron was always too tired or too wound up to get into it, so I’d stopped trying.
“I feel like we’re drifting apart, and I don’t know what to do about it. And I hate myself for even thinking it because it’s Xander. Of course Cameron should be there for him.”
“Well, yeah. But you’re important too, babe. He shouldn’t be neglecting your relationship either.”
“How do I say anything without coming across as a selfish, horrible person though?”
“I’m thinking it's less about saying anything and more about finding the spark again.”
“The spark?” I said with skepticism.
“Yeah, you know, put on something sexy and wait for him to come home and then seduce him.”
I smothered a groan. “Sometimes I really wish you wouldn't suggest things you clearly do with my step-brother.”
“It’s just sex, babe. Everyone does it.”
Some more than others apparently.
“Do you think I’m crazy?” Because I was starting to feel that way.
“What? No! No way. You’re totally justified to feel upset.”
“I’m not upset, Fee, I’m just...” Oh, who I was trying to kid? I was upset and that only made me feel guiltier which in turn upset me more.
I was a mess.
All because my boyfriend was trying to do right by his family.
“It’s okay. You’re entitled to your feelings, just don’t let them fester. Cameron loves you Hailee, so much. Besides, if he ever hurt you, Jase would—”
“Don’t you dare tell him any of this.” Panic welled inside of me.
“I won’t.”
“I mean it, Felicity. It’s bad enough I have to listen to your freaky sex talk knowing you’re boning my brother, without you discussing my sex life with him.”
“But he could talk to Cam and—”