When I come out of my bathroom, I find Nate sitting up in my bed and Jesse on the couch with his feet up as he plays a game on his phone. I walk back over to bed and climb in next to Nate before grabbing my phone and checking the time. “You two should probably go get ready for school,” I tell them. “You’re going to be late.”
“Right,” Jesse scoffs, not once taking his eyes off his phone.
“You’re nuts if you think we’re going anywhere today,” Nate murmurs beside me. “How’re you feeling this morning?”
I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know,” I sigh into him. “I don’t really want to think about it anymore.”
“Alright,” he says. “What’ll make you feel better?”
“Ben & Jerry’s,” I grunt as I slouch back against the headboard.
“Heads up,” Jesse says from the couch as he leans down beside him and grabs something off the floor. A second later, one of those mini tubs of Ben & Jerry’s is launched through the sky. Nate reaches out and plucks the ice cream out of the sky before handing it to me and catching the spoon that Jesse launches next. “Had a feeling,” Jesse says a moment later.
“Thanks,” I say with a small smile as I look down at the chocolate fudge brownie ice cream and pull the lid off, not caring that it’s eight in the morning and ice cream is generally not a breakfast food. “I’m not sure this is going to be enough,” I murmur, pointing out the small size of the little tub.
“I know,” Jesse says. “I got back-up downstairs.
“Thank fuck for that,” I grunt as I dig the spoon into the creamy goodness. “You guys don’t have to stay,” I tell them. “I’ll be fine on my own.”
“Tora,” Nate demands. “We’re not going anywhere. I’m not about to leave you alone right now. So, if you like it or not, you’re stuck with us for the day.”
“Alright,” I say as I pick a movie.
I watch for a short while before I drift off into another sleep when the sound of my phone going off has me startling awake. I groan as I rub my sore eyes and reach over to retrieve it.
I find a text from Brooke and open it up before noticing that Jesse is passed out on the couch and Nate is also in a deep sleep, though, my rustling around has him stirring beneath me.
Brooke – Holy crap!!!! Where the hell are you?? So much is happening today!
I push myself up in bed a little and relax into the feel of Nate’s fingertips brushing over my shoulder as I realize it’s after lunch.
Tora – Home. It’s been a bad night. Nanna passed.
Brooke – Shit, Tora. Why didn’t you say something? I’m on my way.
Tora – No, don’t be silly. I don’t want you getting in trouble.
Brooke – Tough shit, hoochy. I’m already in the car.
I smile at her text as I shuffle over to the edge of the bed and put my feet down on the ground. “Where are you going?” Nate murmurs with his hand on my lower back.
“I’m going to shower,” I tell him. “Brooke’s coming over and I can’t spend the whole day holed up in bed.”
He looks at me straight on and seems to dig right down into my soul. “No one’s judging you if you do,” he tells me. “You just lost your Nanna. It’s fine.”
“No,” I say with a small shake of my head. “I feel pathetic refusing to face the world. Nanna wouldn’t want it. She’d want me to be happy and live life to the fullest.”
I go to stand but he pulls me back by my arm. “Tora,” he says again. “I think she’d understand. It only just happened.”
“Nate, please,” I say, pulling back on my arm until he lets go. “I’m alright. Staying in here all day is only going to make me think about it more. My eyes hurt and my chest hurts and all I want is to feel human again with a hot shower.”
I see the exact instant he gives in and gently nods his head just once, letting me know he’ll leave me alone for a bit. I give him a grateful smile and walk over to the bathroom as he throws the empty tub of Ben & Jerry’s at Jesse’s sleeping form, trying to wake the dead.
Jesse groans as the tub hits him right in the junk. “What the fuck, dude?”
“Tora’s up. Why don’t you go sort something for lunch?” Nate says.
Jesse sits up on the couch and leans forward on his knees. “Yeah, alright,” he says as I close the bathroom door. “What do you feel like?” he says a little louder so he can be heard through the wooden door.
The thought of eating has my stomach clenching and tying into knots but I don’t think I’ll get away with not eating again, not with these boys watching my every move. “I don’t know,” I tell him. “Just get whatever, but get double. Brooke’s coming and she’s always hungry.”