If I’m going out tonight and will most likely see Nate, then I want to look good. I want him to see the woman he gave up. I want him to crave me. I want him to come running back, desperately apologizing and begging me to take him back. I want him to tell me he still loves me. I need to hear those words. It’s only been a week and I’m already drowning without them.
How the hell am I ever going to get through this?
My whole body aches from spending the last week crying. I’m physically and emotionally drained. Nate was my world for so long, in fact, he still very much is, and now that world is coming apart and I don’t know what to do.
I’ll never get to hold his body against mine. Never taste his lips. Never hear his smooth, velvety voice whispering those three words. All because of some stupid fighting, low grades, and a fire. I thought we were stronger than that. I thought we could withstand anything. I thought I’d walk down the aisle and have his babies one day.
I’ve never been so wrong.
As I run the razor up my leg, my mind begins to wander. I want to get wasted, just like Brooke suggested, but I have another idea. One that will surely make me forget him, if only for a few minutes.
I finish shaving my legs and wash my hair before stepping out of the shower. “Hey, Brooke,” I call out as I wrap the towel around my body.
“What?” she yells back as I walk out of the bathroom to find a box sitting on my newly made bed with ‘Nate’ scrawled across the top.
“I think you’re right, but instead of slutting it up, I want to look badass. Untouchable.”
“Really?” she beams with excitement.
I nod my head as we dive into my closet. “But on one condition,” I tell her, watching as she turns to study me. “We make a detour before we go to the party.”
She considers me a moment as she tries to work out what the hell I could have planned before shrugging her shoulders and reaching for a tiny black dress and my thigh high black, heeled boots. “What the hell,” she laughs. “Put this on then we’ll do your makeup.”
I look at the outfit. That’s more her mood than mine. Instead, I go for the white crop, ripped jeans, and combat boots. I get myself dressed and half an hour later, I look in the mirror. I look fierce. I look like the perfect example of a girl you don’t want to fuck with. I look like the girl people would have expected Nate to date in the first place. I look nothing like myself and I love it.
My chestnut hair is down, my eyes are smoky and dark, my boots make me look like I don’t give a fuck, and my top is showing just enough of my toned stomach and cleavage.
As I said, I look fierce.
My look gets Brooke inspired to slut up her outfit just a bit more and twenty minutes later, she’s wearing my little black dress and thigh high boots. The second she deems herself hot enough, we step out the door and head straight for my R8. “Shouldn’t we take my car?” Brooke questions.
“Not for what I’ve got planned,” I tell her before dropping down into my car.
The second my ass hits the smooth leather, I pull out my phone and send off a quick text.
Tora – You better save a drink for me. The plan is to forget.
He texts back instantly.
Jesse – Fuck yeah!!!!! It’s on!!
Chapter 15
I drive down the long dirt road until I can’t possibly drive any longer. Bodies litter the race track, cars line the outskirts, music is blaring, and the sound of engines revving down on the track are heard from miles away.
Yeah. This is exactly what I need.
“What are we doing here?” Brooke says, giving me a sideways glance as I bring my car to a stop.
We haven’t been coming here as much as we used to, though that certainly has something to do with the fact that Nate no longer has a car to race. Something he’s still very sore about, but I’m sure he’ll be right back here in only a few months. After all, he’s been spending every waking hour working on his Mustang.
I’ve never been here without Nate and I’m sure if he knew about this, he’d have a few things to say. He once told me that this place is filled with the wrong kind of guys. The majority of people here tonight are from Haven Falls, and, well… they breed them differently there. They’re rough. Unforgiving. They’re exactly what I need tonight.
I look back at Brooke with an excited grin that comes shining out through my eyes. “We’re racing.”