I had a hard time getting to sleep that night. In spite of how illogical it was to have feelings for Jason, I couldn’t stop picturing him with that woman. He and I had become closer over the past year, but we would never be that close, and as much as I thought I’d come to terms with that, I knew it would be a while before I stopped feeling like I’d been punched any time I saw him with someone else.
I awoke in the morning to the sound of someone tapping on my door. It was early, only a little after seven, so I definitely wasn’t late for breakfast. I stumbled out of bed and opened the door a crack, peering through the gap and jolting slightly when I saw Jason standing there.
“Sorry. Did I wake you?”
His stubble was way out of control; he obviously hadn’t shaved yet, and his hair was messy. He wore scruffy blue jeans and a plain black t-shirt which was wrinkled, as though he’d just thrown some clothes – any clothes - on before coming to my room.
I nodded, blinking a few times. “What’s going on?”
“I wanted to check on you.”
“Why?”
“Can I come in?”
I glanced down at my old oversized t-shirt, making sure I was fully covered up. Crap. Why couldn’t he hav
e called when I was dressed?
I let Jason in, still somewhat confused as to why he wanted to check on me. Shit. Did he know I freaked out about him and that woman? My cheeks burned as we sat down on the edge of my bed. Where the heck was she, anyway? Did he just leave her in bed?
“Drew told me what happened last night. With Julien.”
I let out a breath I hadn’t realised I was holding. Not that this topic was any less humiliating. I glanced down at my lap, wringing my hands together while I waited to find out where this conversation was going.
“What were you thinking, Luce? Going outside with a guy you hardly knew? Doesn’t sound like you.”
I fought to hold in a bitter laugh. Right. Because the big-boobed tart he left with wasn’t the same thing to him. Just some girl to screw. To pick up and put down when he’d got what he wanted.
I shrugged. “I figured I’d experience some more French cuisine. Unfortunately, it was the kind that makes you want to throw up.”
“Lucy, come on. This isn’t something to joke about. Drew said that prick had his hand up your shirt!”
The memory made me shudder; his firm, dirty grip keeping me held in place so I couldn’t escape. Couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe.
“Yeah, I know it’s serious, Jason. I was there. But it’s over now. I made a stupid mistake. I don’t need to be reminded.”
Jason rested his hand on mine. “I’m not judging you, Luce. I’m the king of stupid mistakes. I just don’t understand why you were with him in the first place. He’d been acting like a first class cock all day.”
I raised an eyebrow. “That sounds a little bit like judgement.”
“Hey.”
His sharp tone made me look up at him, into those green eyes, and I sighed. “I didn’t choose to drag him out of the club. I was outside getting some air and he came out. We were talking, he wanted to kiss me, and I didn’t see the harm. He was a good-looking guy, and I didn’t… I just didn’t think it through.”
I lowered my eyes, the horror of what could have happened seeping into me again. On my second night away from home, I’d killed any level of maturity I’d tried to show and almost got myself seriously assaulted. Rubbing my hand across my forehead, I let out a groan.
Jason laced his fingers through mine. “Promise me you won’t do that again. I don’t want you getting hurt. Besides, you’re way better than a quick hook up in a back alley.”
The sensation of his fingers entwined with mine was too good. I wanted to hold on, but I pulled away and shuffled away from him slightly. “Did you say that to the girl you picked up last night? How come she wasn’t too good to be a quick hook up?” I spoke quietly, asking not in a judgemental way, but out of genuine curiosity.
Jason’s eyes closed for a second as he blew out a breath. “You know about that.”
“I saw you.”
He nodded slowly. “Lucy, she was just…” He paused for a second, obviously trying to find the right words. “We get a lot of girls who want to hook up with us because of who we are. I don’t always take advantage of it. In fact, I pass up a hell of a lot. Some nights, like last night, I needed… I don’t know…” He shook his head. “She was there. Right place, right time.”
“So… you were horny and you picked up the first woman who threw herself at you?”