I get up off the couch and go down to my room. I lock the door, close the blinds, and get changed into my pajamas.
Fuck the test. I’ll catch up or do extra credit, besides, if I go now, there’s no way in hell I’ll be able to concentrate, not after the way Nate let loose on me. I completely deserved it, but he’s never yelled at me like that before. I mean, we’ve had plenty of arguments over stupid shit, but nothing ever like this. Just thinking about it has me pulling the blankets up tight around my body, hoping to keep myself from breaking down.
I just… I need him to come home and tell me it’s all ok. Tell me that he understands why I kept it from him and that he forgives me. I need him to take this torment inside my mind away. I need this to be ok.
I don’t emerge from my room for the whole afternoon, I don’t study, and I sure as hell don’t bother checking in with Nate. I don’t respond to texts from Jesse and I don’t try talking to Brooke like I have every other day.
It’s dark outside and I start to wonder if Nate is coming back here tonight or if he’s still too pissed off to bother. Maybe he’ll go back home and… no, he wouldn’t, not with the threat of Lukas possibly coming over. Nate will be here and he’ll be moody as all hell.
Shit, he can sleep out on the couch if that’s the case.
My door handle wiggles before whoever on the other side realizes it’s locked. A low sigh follows by the sound of someone trying to pick it. Yeah, definitely Nate. Brooke would have just given up. Hell, she wouldn’t have tried at all.
Ha, let Nate try. It’s locked and there’s no way he’s getting in.
The door flies open and my mouth hangs open. How the hell did he learn how to pick a lock? More importantly, what the hell is about to go down here?
I wriggle back up the bed until I’m sitting as Nate walks across the room and leans against the opposite wall, just watching me. His hands and clothes are covered in grease and oil from working on the cars, but he doesn’t seem to care.
“Do you hate me?” I murmur into the too quiet room.
His eyes never leave mine as he slowly shakes his head.
“Are we ok?”
Again, he shakes his head, splitting my heart in two, right down the center. “You should have told me,” is all he says.
I hang my head as the tears slowly begin again. “I know.”
“He could have hurt you.”
“I know.”
Nate closes his eyes and walks forward. He doesn’t touch me and I don’t know if that’s because he’s still too angry with me or because he doesn’t want to get my room dirty. “I don’t need you to protect me, Tora. You should know that when it comes to you, I’m going to do anything and everything it takes to keep you safe and I don’t give a shit if that means losing everything or going away. I can rebuild what I’ve already started, but there’s only one of you and I’ll be damned if I ever let anything happen to you.”
My eyes catch his and I find that I don’t know what to say, but nothing needs to be said. He knows I feel him and he knows I’m hurting.
Without another word on the topic, Nate holds out his hand to me. “Come on,” he says. “I need to shower.”
I take his hand, despite the grease covering his fingers. I need his touch more than anything, and right now, just having his fingers woven through mine isn’t enough. I need to feel him close. I need his skin against mine.
We get halfway up the hallway when Brooke throws her door open. She rushes out into the hallway with wide, frantic eyes. I assume she’s about to come and yell at me for something, but when she jams her finger into Nate’s chest, my eyes widen in surprise. “Why’d you do it?” she demands, getting in his face. “He didn’t do anything to you.”
“What are you talking about?” Nate questions with a snap, not really in the mood to be interrogated by my best friend, especially one who hasn’t been acting like a friend at all.
“Lukas,” she demands. “He was jumped today and I know it was you.”
“I didn’t do shit,” he growls. “I was in class all morning and then working in the shop.”
“Bullshit,” she yells at him. “It was you. I knew something like this would happen the second Tora started accusing him of messing around.”
I push past Nate and get in her face. “I’m not lying,” I yell at her. “Your boyfriend is a scumbag and you’re an idiot for not seeing it. He deserved to be jumped, but it wasn’t Nate.”