Chapter 7 – Considering the Consequences
Usually when everything got so tangled up that I didn’t know what to do, I went to the cemetery to talk to Will, however, the source of my confusion meant I couldn’t face it. Couldn’t face talking to Will the way I used to. Three days wasn’t the longest I’d stayed away, and even though I felt the pull to go to him, I didn’t want to sit beside his grave and tell him how much I missed him. I’d have felt like a phony.
After talking to Bryce, I realised he was right. I needed to talk to Miguel. Whatever Miguel’s reason for avoiding me at work, I had to try to fix it before we let another four months pass without really talking. We made this mess together, and we’d find our way out together. That’s what friends do, right?
Without putting too much thought into it, I got into my car and drove to Miguel’s house. If I called him, I didn’t trust that we’d both be honest with each other. I needed to be face to face with him. His deep brown eyes couldn’t lie, and I needed the truth. Needed to know if, in spite of his words, we’d been so stupid that we’d ruined our friendship forever.
When I pulled up outside Miguel’s Spanish-style home, I turned my head to the left and stared at the building, imagining him inside. What was he doing? Was he having dinner? Watching TV? Did he feel as strange about the day as I did? Shaking my head to stop myself second guessing him again, I opened my car door and stepped out. Just as I locked up, I heard Miguel’s front door open and I spun around. He had his head down, staring at his phone as if deciding whether or not to call someone. I had a sneaking suspicion I knew who. Waiting, I leaned back against my car. Miguel let out a small growl and shoved his cell into his jeans pocket. He raised his head, and as his gaze landed on me his eyes widened.
“Freya?”
“Hey.”
“I was just coming to see you.”
“I guess I saved you a journey.” Straightening up, I gave him an uneasy smile. “So… what’s up?”
He shook his head, his whole body tense. “I don’t know. I felt like I should talk to you after today but…”
He didn’t need to finish the sentence. Who the hell knew what the words were anyway? Sometimes confusion takes over, and lucky for him, I understood.
“Do you want to come in?”
Obviously, that was the original plan. But he looked so tense. The two of us confined within the walls of his house suddenly didn’t seem like such a good idea.
“How about we go for a drive?” I asked, and he nodded.
Miguel and I climbed into my car, neither of us saying a word. It wasn’t uncomfortable exactly, but we’d lost the easy going feel we’d had the day before. Wasn’t it supposed to be the other way around? Getting easier instead of harder? How did we go from joking around at the weekend to this? And all because of… what?
Right. That was why I was there.
“I’m sorry about today,” Miguel said, as we headed out of his neighbourhood towards… wherever. Destination was the last thing on my mind. “I didn’t mean to act like such a douche.” From the corner of my eye I saw his head turn towards me. “You did a great job today. I’m proud of you getting through it.”
“Don’t be too proud.” I shrugged. “I literally got through it, nothing more. It was tough, but everyone was really supportive.”
“Except me.” Miguel snapped his head to the view in front of us again. “I don’t really have a great excuse, or even understand why I kept my distance.”
“It’s okay. Things are far from normal right now and I’ve done more than my share of keeping away from you. But if there’s a way for you to explain so I can understand… it might help. At least then I can work on not doing things that make this harder.”
“You didn’t do anything.”
Silence filled the car again, and I held in a sigh. Maybe visiting him wasn’t such a good idea after all. If he didn’t know what was wrong, and I didn’t know either, we were kind of at an impasse.
I didn’t want this. I never wanted this.
My inner GPS led me towards the training ground, to the café opposite our work place where we sometimes hung out. It was convenient, and there was a place to park – something that wasn’t easy to find in Los Angeles. In spite of it being out of the way, there were always people there. I suspected it was mostly Warriors fans, hoping to catch a glimpse of the players – and sometimes they got lucky. I loved the place for its “All-American 50s diner” feel, complete with a jukebox and staff dressed as if they were headed to a rock ‘n’ roll party.
As we settled ourselves in one of the booths, Miguel gave a small smile. “You hungry?”
I nodded. “I didn’t realise until we got here, but I could eat.”
Maybe if we have something else to focus on, we might get somewhere. I’d be the size of a house soon if the only way we could talk was over food.
We ordered burgers and fries – knowing it would easily be burned off at training the next day – and as we silently sipped on our drinks, I tried to figure out a way to broach the awkward topic again.
“I didn’t like that Bryce was the one who helped you this morning,” Miguel blurted out, causing me to splutter.
I blinked a few times. “Er… what?”