Chapter 14
The past three days have been a living hell.
On Tuesday night, I cried myself to sleep.
On Wednesday, Noah didn’t show up for school and I held Tully back from beating the shit out of a pregnant girl. I mean, morals certainly have been questioned lately, but that’s one I won’t even budge on.
On Thursday, Monica strutted around as though she’d just won the fucking lottery while Noah looked thoroughly repulsed and broken while constantly watching me from across the school.
And somehow, we’ve made it to Friday night and he hasn’t spoken a single word to me since the kiss in my bedroom doorway.
It’s killed me in a way I wasn’t prepared for. I lived for those afternoons chilling out with Noah while Tully and Rivers argued over burned popcorn. I adored the knowing smiles he’d give me when he thought no one was watching. I loved the way his arm always seemed to find its way over my shoulder, but the way the nickname ‘Spitfire’ would come out of his mouth with his signature cocky sureness breathed life into me.
That’s all gone now and I can feel myself retreating back inside my broken shell. That girl I was just the other week is knocking on the door, threatening to claim me once again and I’m struggling to hold her off.
I need a drink.
“What are we doing tonight?” I ask Tully as she walks into her room which I’ve barricaded myself inside just in case Noah happens to come home. Rumor has it, he’s racing again tonight, though I guess I’m happier to hear that then to find out that he and Rivers have disappeared again to get up to whatever shady shit they’re into. It still bugs me that I don’t know what it is, but I don’t think I want to know. I’m terrified of finding out that it’s something awful and my opinion of him might change.
Apparently, the news of having a baby has scared him shitless and he’s trying to do the respectable thing by getting cashed up to help support the baby. I don’t doubt Monica would be putting that burden on him rather than sharing the costs.
I have to commend him for it, but at the same time, I still can’t bring myself to be happy for him. Maybe when the hurt wears off I’ll reconsider. As for now, the fact that the race is on and I’m not there to see him kick ass…yeah, that kind of stings.
Tully’s face lights up like a damn Christmas tree. “Are you serious? You want to go out?” she practically roars. “I thought for sure we’d be holed up in here all night, listening through the wall, waiting for Noah to get home only to pretend you’re asleep when he walks in.”
I roll my eyes. “You and I both know that he doesn’t even like her,” I remind Tully. “He’ll be home as soon as the race is done and I want to be gone before then.”
“You’re probably right,” she chuckles. “What do you feel like? A crazy party or dinner and a movie?”
“What?” I laugh. “Sorry, I hadn’t realized we were dating.”
Tully rolls her eyes and throws a cushion at my face. “You’re such a dork. You know that’s not what I meant. I just assumed you wouldn’t be up for a wild party.”
I grin up at her. “A wild party is exactly what I need.”
“Wait, let’s just clarify here. By ‘wild party’ do you mean getting wasted, screwing a handful of guys on the dance floor and whoring out or do you mean sitting on a couch and watching the party as everyone whores out around us?”
“I don’t know about you, but I plan on being the one doing the whoring and drinking.”
“Oh, hell yeah,” she cheers, before racing across her room and throwing her closet doors open. “What are we wearing and who are you screwing?”
I climb off her bed and make my way across to her closet, knowing she only has one pair of ripped jeans that I’d actually consider wearing. The rest of her clothes consist of tiny little dresses that hardly cover my coochy.
I seriously doubt I’ll be screwing anyone tonight, but I’m more than happy to go in with the attitude that I will be, you know, it’s good for the soul. Be one with your inner skank, especially in times of severe lady taco drought.
If I’m honest with myself, there’s only one guy I want taking me for a test drive as I have a feeling that no one else would be able to compare. Maybe he’s some kind of beast between the sheets or maybe it’s the feelings I have for him that would make it so good. I don’t know, but either way it’s not going to happen now.