“It’s true. You didn’t see it. Her. Taking ownership of you in front of the entire school. In front of me. It was humiliating. But more than that…it just hurt.”
Miller rummaged on the floor for his underwear, pulled them on, and then came to me.
“I’m sorry, Vi. I don’t know what she’s doing, except that I wouldn’t have a contract if not for her. And right this second, I fucking need it. They gave me money. An advance. I can give it to my mom and get rid of Chet.” He tentatively held both my shoulders. “I swear, I belong to you. And I know it feels like a slap in the face. I can see it in your eyes, and I…” He bit off his words, frustration and pain suffusing him. He swallowed hard. “I’m in love with you. Nothing can ever change that.”
“She’s going to try,” I said in a small voice.
“And fail. She’s going to fail because I won’t even let her try.”
Jealousy and self-doubt rampaged in me. But I knew Miller. Once he’d made a promise, he kept it. He promised to help Evelyn and I couldn’t ask him not to keep it.
“I have to trust you,” I said. “Or we have nothing.”
Miller pulled me into him, wrapping me in his strong embrace. His voice rumbled in my ear that was pressed to his warm, bare chest. “You can trust me. I’m doing her a favor, that’s all. You’ll be an hour away. I’ll visit you, or you can visit me this summer, before your classes start. And the very fucking second the album’s done, I’ll come back—”
“I won’t be here.”
His arms around me stiffened. “What, why?”
“My parents are divorcing and selling the house. There’s no money for UCSC, so I’m going to Texas. Baylor’s going to pay my tuition.”
“Texas,” he said, letting me go and slumping to sit on the edge of the bed. “Jesus. When did this happen?”
“I found out yesterday. They’re broke. There’s nothing left.”
He shook his head, eyes on the ground. “I’m sorry, Vi. And UCSC. I know that was your dream.”
I sat on the bed next to him. “What are we going to do?”
“I don’t know. Gold Line is going to make an EP, and if the timing works out, there’s talk of a tour. I’d join Ed Sheeran as an opening act
.”
“Ed Sheeran? My God… That’s huge,” I said, wondering how my heart could swell with happiness and break at the same time.
“It’s not a sure thing but shit, Vi. I thought that would be the hardest thing to deal with. Being apart from you for that long.” His eyes widened at a sudden thought, and he turned to me, taking my hand. “Come with me.”
“Where? To Los Angeles?”
“Yes, and if the tour happens, you come with me then too.”
“What about my school?”
“Just for a year. Jack Villegas, the guy at Gold Line, he really fucking believes in me, Vi. Just like you do. Maybe I’ll make enough money to pay for your college. Next year, you can go to UCSC or UCLA. We can make it work.”
He was so full of hope after years of mistrust and doubt. But I shook my head.
“I can’t,” I said.
His face fell, his eyes hardening. “Because of Evelyn?”
“Not just her, but yes, that’s part of it. She’ll at least have a job. A purpose. What would I do? Tag along after the two of you? And what about my own plans? Accepting Baylor’s offer is going to help my med school applications. Because I still have about ten more years of college ahead of me. I have to stay sharp. I can’t take a year off or put it on hold.”
His gaze hardened, his jaw tight. “Then I can. I can call up Jack and—”
“Absolutely not,” I said. “You have to go and make that album, and I have to pursue my goals. You can’t pay for them, and I can’t abandon them for a year to follow you around. I’d be miserable.”
“Miserable,” he stated. “You’d be with me.”