He shakes his head. “I…I can’t, Tully.” I’ve never seen such pure disappointment than what I’m seeing now on Tully’s face. It’s as though he just tore her heart to shreds. He lets out a sigh, knowing he’s hurting her. “Truth.”
Her eyes cast down as the pain rockets through her and I’ve never been so desperate to jump out of a moving car in my life. This moment should be private. They should be discussing this alone where they can say whatever the hell is in their hearts instead of having me right here, intruding and most likely holding them back from complete honesty.
Tully’s voice comes out as the softest, heartbroken whisper. “Why?”
Rivers eyes remain firmly locked on the road ahead and I watch out of the corner of my eye as his jaw clenches and his fingers curl around the steering wheel, fighting with himself, deciding what to say. He lets out a breath and his features soften. “Because if I let myself…be with you, even just once, I won’t be able to stop. I’ll fall in love with you in a big fucking way. You would rule my life, Tully, and I can’t let that happen. I’m not good enough for you. You’re light and I’m darkness. I would destroy you.”
She pushes herself back into the back seat, completely deflated. “You don’t know that,” she murmurs, shaking her head.
He glances up in the rearview mirror. “I do.”
With that, he drives me straight home and I’m not surprised when Tully gets out too.
Chapter 7
I slam through the door with Tully hot on my heels. “Can you believe that bullshit?” she whines with one hell of a pout, shaking her head and adding a scoff for good measure. “Fucking pussy.”
“You don’t think that was his honest truth?” I ask, looking back over my shoulder as we make our way into my home.
She stops in the middle of the living room, pouting out her bottom lip. “No,” she breathes with her heart on her sleeve. Her face breaks and I rush towards her, throwing my arms around her as she knows just as well as I do that Rivers was spilling his heart just now.
They have this incredible chemistry that has the potential to create one of the greatest loves in history, and he refuses to get on board with it because he claims he’s not good enough, which is absolute bullshit by the way. The guy is incredible. He’s perfect for her.
Tully buries her face into my neck and I run my fingers through her hair, trying my hardest to soothe her, but honestly, I don’t know what to do. I’ve never seen Tully break and seeing her this way is threatening my own takedown. “Why would he say that?” I question softly. “Why doesn’t he think he’s good enough?”
She shakes her head in my neck and I resist cringing at the feel of her nose stabbing into me. “He just…he’s got some shit going on,” she tells me with a sniffle. “I get why he’s saying it, but it’s not true. He is good. He’s perfect.”
I hold her tight, absolutely hating seeing her broken like this when it dawns on me. She doesn’t just like the guy. She’s head over heels, crazy in love with him. That knowledge has me pulling her in even tighter, realizing that she’s just as lost as I am right now. I guess I should consider myself lucky that Noah’s actually willing to give this thing between us a shot, rather than having a guy like Rivers who won’t even entertain the idea.
So many questions come from what she’s just shared about Rivers and has me wondering what the hell is going on in his life. I’ve always known the guy to be pretty damn awesome. He’s Noah’s best friend and always has his back, but now that I think about it, I know nothing of his life. I don’t know where he lives, if he has siblings, who his parents are. He’s a closed book and I’m betting that’s where all the answers lie. Though even if he’s fifty shades of fucked up, what he feels for Tully is pure and no matter what, I still think they’d be perfect together.
Tully pulls away and wipes the back of her hand across her face, wiping away the fallen tears before collapsing down onto the couch and pulling a cushion into her chest. She hugs it to herself while her eyes become distant, probably deep in thought.
There’s only one thing for this.
I leave her there and make my way into the kitchen to search out the rocky road ice cream, only I stop when my eyes scan past a little white piece of paper sitting on the table with a couple of hundred dollars on top and dad’s emergency credit card that he only breaks out when shit goes up in flames.