Forever Right Now

Gerald and Alice both stiffened, looking both chagrined and defensive at the same time. Alice sat back down.

“I’m just being honest,” I said. “I know you’re doing what you think is right, but it’s hurting people I love.”

“I know,” Alice said tiredly. “We’re the bad guys, aren’t we? But Molly…she was our only daughter. And Olivia is our last tie to her. She’s our family.”

“She’s Sawyer’s family too,” I said.

“Are you sure about that?” Gerald asked.

I didn’t answer. I held and comforted Olivia for long moments in the strange silence between the four of us, until my arm—already sore from massaging all day, began to complain.

“My arm’s getting numb,” I said. “I’m going to put her down after all.”

With effort, I hauled myself out of the chair and carried Olivia to her bed. I set her down and she whimpered and stirred like she was going to wake up. But within moments, her little chest rose and fell, and the splotchy red of her cheeks from crying had faded.

I limped back to the kitchen and sat down at Sawyer’s table, with the Abbotts. The air between us was thin and tight, and I, who usually burst out the first words that came to mind, knew that I had to choose them carefully. To help Sawyer if I could.

Don’t fuck this up, don’t fuck this up, don’t fuck this up…

“How did you injure your foot?” Alice asked.

“It wasn’t from chasing my next high,” I said, and inwardly winced.

Good start, Dar. That should do the trick.

Gerald bristled. “Our attorney suggested we find out precisely who is living in the same house as our only granddaughter.”

“You have to understand,” Alice said. “We hadn’t seen her in two years. Her calls and texts became more sporadic and then stopped altogether. We lived in fear of one of those visits from the highway patrol, or the phone call in the middle of the night.”

“And then we got one,” Gerald said. “Our baby was gone, but her friend told us she’d had one of her own.”

Alice’s eyes filled with tears. “I’ve never been so scared and…lost. Our only child was gone and her baby—a helpless, little baby—was in the hands of a complete stranger.” She composed herself and met my gaze steadily. “We had to act. To find her and protect her.”

“We thought Sawyer would be happy to see us,” Gerald said. “Or at least friendly enough that we could get to know each other. To work together and…maybe build something.”

“But he thought you were coming to tear everything down,” I said softly. “Aren’t you?”

Alice’s hands twisted on the table, her brows drawn together. “I hate that I feel this way. That we’re trying to do the right thing for Olivia, as we should, and yet it feels wrong too.”

Gerald covered her hand with his.

“We were prepared to let the judge read the paternity test results,” he said. “In fact, we were fairly certain, even before Sawyer spoke, what the outcome would be.”

“But then Sawyer spoke,” Alice said, picking up where her husband’s thought left off with the ease of two people who have been married for decades. “He spoke and I had hope that he was the sort of man who would let two strangers—family and strangers both—share Olivia’s life. But after the hearing, he was cold again. So cold.”

“He’s not cold,” I said. “If he’s an asshole it’s because he’s scared you’re going to take Olivia from him. Doesn’t he have every right to fear that?”

“Is he her father?” Gerald asked, with a directness that said whatever his occupation had been, he was used to being in charge.

I lifted my chin. “Yes,” I said. “He is. By every standard that matters.”

They exchanged pained looks. “I just wish we’d seen more of him as he was at the hearing. If we had assurance that he…was loving and kind, that Olivia felt cherished by him…”

“She is,” I said softly. “God, she is. I wish you could see them together when he thinks no one is looking. How he smiles at her, or makes her laugh; how he cooks her healthy food and makes sure she eats her peas, while he heats up a frozen dinner for himself because he’s working so damn hard to create a beautiful life for her.”

I wiped my cheek, and shook my head. “How you saw him at the hearing is who he really is. Underneath the prickly armor, he’s full of love and humor and goodness, and he would never let anything hurt that little girl.” I inhaled a ragged breath. “He wants to protect her because he knows what it’s like to not have a mom.”

Gerald sat up straighter, and Alice’s hand went to her throat. “He does?”