“She was a Minnesota fan,” he then tells me with a blank expression. “We argued over it. She loathed the Yankees.”
My lips curve upward, knowing how Will is a hardcore Yankees supporter and would have fought till he was blue in the face. There are several questions coming to mind, but I keep them at bay, allowing him to get his emotions and fears out in the open. Will needs all the strength right now to be able to care for a little boy, his son.
“It was just one night, at some bar in London,” he begins with, struggling to get his words out. “We were both drowning our sorrows. I just found out you were engaged, I stormed out of the meeting room, and your dad told me to let you go.”
He wrings his hands, keeping his stare fixated on the empty wall across from us.
“I went to a bar, and she sat beside me, a fellow American. I got real homesick all of a sudden. I planned to come back home, but then I thought, what is the point? You’re marrying another man. You no longer love me. We both were drowning in our sorrows that night. She was having an affair with her older married boss and quit her job because she couldn’t handle being around him. Then we went back to the hotel room.”
I swallow the lump inside my throat, forcing my pride to take a seat at the back because this isn’t about my feelings right now.
“That was it,” he finishes faintly. “One night.”
A heavy sigh escapes my lips, a complete loss of words as I hang my head with resignation. “I don’t know what to say, Will.”
“What is there to say? I had no idea she was pregnant. I don’t even remember whether I used a condom or not. All I can remember is how much I wanted to forget about you and how for just a split second, she made me forget. And now? I supposedly have a son inside that room fighting for his life.”
His pain is far greater than I ever imagined. And as I sit beside him, I can’t help but carry the burden with him. It was only one night, one night in which he was trying to forget about me. A simple life-changing moment for me when Austin proposed, a lie in which I told myself, spun a web to lead to this very moment.
It wasn’t the time to carry guilt nor castigate my foolish actions.
I need to find every morsel of strength within me to be the rock Will needs right now. For when he is in pain, I am in pain. When he bleeds, I am bleeding with him.
I place my hand on top of his, intertwining my fingers, so we’re holding hands. His palms are cold, but almost instantly, they begin to warm in my touch.
“You are not alone. You will never be alone,” I remind him. “I’m here, Will, no matter what happens. Please know that.”
“I can’t lose you,” he stammers with bloodshot eyes. “Not again.”
I shake my head and bring his hand to my lips, placing a gentle kiss.
“We’re family. You’ll never lose me,” I tell him with ease. “Can we go inside the NICU? I’d like to meet little…”
“He doesn’t have a name,” Will resigns.
I reassure him with a smile. “It’ll come when the time is right.”
We both follow the nurse’s instructions to place on the gowns and wash our hands. Nurse Becky, as she introduces herself, leads us to the incubator toward the right. With every step closer, my heart begins to ache. All these tiny babies, many on life support.
And then, she introduces the little baby boy. My eyes are drawn to him, tiny while lying with a diaper and all these tubes attached to him. He is by far the smallest baby I’ve ever seen, and with that, I begin to weep inside. Life is unfair. This little boy is fighting for his life, not even aware he’s lost his mother before he even had a chance to be held by her.
“He’s beautiful, Will,” I barely manage to say without my voice cracking. “So precious.”
As we stand in silence watching his little chest rise and fall, I say a silent prayer to the lord above. He may not have a mother alive and may be fighting this battle so early on in life, but one blessing he carries is to have Will Romano as his father.
To be loved by Will is the greatest gift in the world.
And in the end, that’s all that matters, the love that binds us all.
The rest will just have to fall into place.
21
WILL
Ten tiny fingers. Ten tiny toes.
They belong to the small body inside the incubator, a baby boy fighting for his life.