Frozen on the spot, I stare at the little blue line and its evil twin. My skin tingles in discomfort as my chest tightens, restricting my ability to breathe so effortlessly.
This cannot be happening.
I am not irresponsible!
I got straight-A’s in sex education class. I paid close attention to that condom being placed on the banana. In fact, I even took notes.
“No shit, but are there two lines?” Vicky is panicked, walking back and forth in the confined bathroom, or what I like to call my personal hell.
Without saying a word, I hand it over, wrong end first as Vicky snatches it away from me.
“Oh gross, I’m touching your pee.” It falls to the floor, not that it matters—the damage is done.
“Is it Marcus’?”
Mental calculations of who you were sleeping with at a specific time scream ‘slut’ like nothing else. With Marcus, I stuck to my five-month-rule, minus four months, two weeks, and four days. Turns out the older you get, the shorter the timespan.
“Okay, let’s take it into the living room with some Chinese takeout and get to the bottom of this,” Vicky reassures me.
An hour later, the Chinese delivery guy has delivered our food, and Vicky is wearing her Sherlock Holmes’ cap and glasses. When it comes to sticky situations, Vicky Flinders is the person you want by your side. Despite nausea sitting in the pit of my stomach, I shove food into my mouth, not allowing myself any air to breathe.
“When did you last get your period?”
“Like, a month ago? It was an odd color and lighter than usual.”
“You can still get your period while you’re pregnant.”
“Marcus and I only started sleeping together not long ago, and to be honest, he has an obsession with blowjobs, so we don’t really have intercourse as much as you might think,” I mumble, in confusion.
“Okay, that’s a lot of information for me to take in. What is it with men and blowjobs? You know, it could be Haden’s or Jason’s—”
“Wh… why would it be Haden’s?” The anxiety is curling in my stomach at the mention of his name. I hadn’t even thought of him being part of this equation. My immediate thoughts went to Marcus. Even Jason seemed so far-fetched. Yet it would be my preferred option if given a choice. I am barely containing my tears, choking them back trying to figure out what the hell I’m going to do.
“Uh, because he stuck his GI Joe in your Polly Pocket?”
I almost choke on my eggroll. “You’re getting cruder with age.”
“I prefer the term ‘wiser,’” she corrects me. “So?”
“Look, Vicks, he wore a condom… I think.” God, I sound like a whore. “But if I didn’t come, then he probably didn’t.”
Vicky spits out her drink all over my coffee table. Disgusted, I quickly grab some paper towels to wipe it down, mumbling under my breath at her disregard for a sanitary environment though it should be the least of my problems.
“You can’t be that gullible. If I know Haden, the jerk blew his load and left you hanging, wanting more.”
“I don’t know,” I barely admit. “As for Jason, we hadn’t had sex since his trip back from Chicago. That was so long ago. Surely, if it were his, I’d be showing right now.”
My mind is reeling with all this information, all the while reminding me how unbelievably stupid and irresponsible I am. I take a step back and ponder the scientific side of things, but Vicky interrupts my thoughts.
“So that was like…” Counting her fingers, Vicky does the math that my brain refuses to compute. “That was like five months ago, right? And you fucked Haden four months ago? So, it’s simple, you get your blood test done and see how far along you are. Then you’ll know who the baby daddy is.”
Oh, dear God, baby daddy. This is not supposed to be how I bring a child into this world. I should be married, or at least living with the man. Love should have been the reason for this lifechanging moment—not some careless rendezvous fueled by desire.
“Vicky, it has to be Marcus’ baby. I’m not ready for this, plus he’s so young and not ready to be a father. How can this happen?” I yell in frustration.
“Well, you weren’t exactly being responsible.”
“I was on the goddamn pill back then! Besides, we always use condoms.”