“What, Lex? Now you’re jealous? Tell me, does it hurt? Does it hurt to know that someone else wants me? Does it hurt that for a moment it made me come alive, another man’s words made me feel alive? The same man you hate with every fiber of your being?”
“Charlotte…” he bellows.
“What? You gave up on us… our marriage is on the verge of over, and I don’t even know why!” I throw my hands in the air, frustrated he chooses to have this conversation tonight. “You won’t fucking talk to me… you don’t even want to see my face.”
He pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket, and I recognize it immediately.
“Tell me what the fuck this is?” he yells.
“You can read,” I say calmly.
“You want a fucking divorce?”
I clutch my stomach, bowing my head, willing the pain piercing every inch of me just to stop. This isn’t the life we planned, and I refuse to settle for anything else.
“Lex, I can’t do this anymore. It’s killing me.”
His nostrils flare like a bull ready to attack. In a quick move, he pushes me onto the hood of the car, the metal touching my skin as the shock stills my breath.
With force, his lips crash onto mine, and I try with strength to push him away. He deserves to be pushed away, but I miss him so much. I don’t know what this means, but right in this moment, do I care? For a moment, he is mine again, and I’ll take it while I can.
Lex pulls away, and I sit up struggling to catch my breath.
His eyes, that stare.
I wait for what seems like forever.
Is this it? Are we finally over?
He turns me around in a split second and pushes me back onto the hood. I let out a small whimper, the force scares me. It feels wrong on so many levels. I should feel degraded, but I’m so far from it. He’s my husband for crying out loud.
The sound of his belt clicks, and without warning, he rams into me. I bite my lip attempting to muffle my moans. I’m not sure if he takes this as an invitation, but he does it harder. I cry tears, a mixture of happy and sad, feeling the salty liquid run down my face because I miss him in every way possible. It’s pleasure and pain all rolled into one fucked-up ball.
“You belong to me, Charlotte. Do you understand? Every inch of this body belongs to me. I’m your husband. I own you.”
I struggle, the ache in my belly forming. I’m close, the build-up is quick, and I know if he speaks again, I will come undone.
He leans over and pulls me in harder and faster, his pleas driving us both to an explosive finish.
“Mine…” he cries out. “You are my wife, Charlotte…”
And then we are done.
Somewhere in our heated moment, he pulls away.
&nbs
p; I can’t do this.
I miss him so much and know having this moment, having a chance to feel him again, I just know I can’t go back to the way he treated me. I miss being loved and desired.
I miss being his entire world.
“Lex… I can’t do this anymore. Please just let me go,” I beg, shaking my head.
“You can’t leave me!” he cries, running his hands through his hair in desperation. “I saw him, I saw you look at him.”
“Julian is—”