The music was close to finishing and as a finale I felt her graze her teeth along the outside of my pants against my dick; without control I felt a slight stir. What the fuck? I wasn’t turned on but now I was conscious of that familiar feeling; that tingling throb was impossible to ignore. No No No!
“Take it off! Lex has a boner,” Eric shouted with such enthusiasm.
Slowly Eric undid the blindfold and I almost fell off my chair, the shock of the granny standing in front of me in a purple corset and thong was enough to make me dry heave. Everyone in the room broke out laughing, and I was unable to find the hilarity in this given the huge wood I was sporting. Seriously, why the fuck was I turned on? And why the fuck won’t it go down?
The granny winked at me, her false teeth visible. Oh fuck, the false teeth grazed my dick. I was gonna beat the shit out of Rocky. I turned to look at him, his face cringing; why the fuck was he so mortified? He booked the granny escort to strip for me!
I could hear BJ in the back shouting, “Get yer gums around my plums.”
“That was hilarious!” Eric laughed, slapping his hand on his leg, unable to contain himself. The granny had walked away, saying goodbye to everyone, her saggy ass tainting my poor brain. There are just some things that can never be unseen. Rocky was still looking odd; something was wrong. He wasn’t taking as much pleasure in watching me suffer as I expected he would.
“What’s wrong with you?” I asked him.
“Dude, did you spike my drink?”
“What? No, why?... oh,” I laughed. There before me stood his boner.
“Fuck, then what the hell?”
It clicked, and as I stood there I watched the other men noticing that they all had a similar expression. BJ was happily getting a dance from two girls in the corner, his wood was expected and the same went for Uncle Hank. Elijah and Logan kept adjusting their pants, squirming uncomfortably and attempting to avoid eye contact with the girls that danced around them. My dad was at the bar with Mark, both of them with legs crossed, having what looked like an incredibly uncomfortable conversation. Eric stood next to us, as quiet as a church mouse, his face barely able to hide the grin, and I knew without shadow of a doubt he was the reason why there was enough blood pumping on this yacht to fuck all the women of America.
Viagra.
“What’s up, guys? Or should I say, who’s up?” Eric burst out laughing.
“You’re dead meat, Kennedy,” Rocky threatened.
“All I can say is thank god! For a second I thought the granny gave me that boner,” I roared, unable to contain myself for minutes on end.
…
I walked through the rose bush, cussing as the thorns scratched my arm till Rocky turned to look at me and told me to shut the fuck up and quit wailing like a baby.
We had left the yacht, boners and all, with an attempt to spy on the women. Elijah declined giving us a lecture about trusting the woman you love. The rest headed back to the hotel to get ready for the ceremony, we still had two hours, plenty of time to get in a sneak peak.
We ran behind a tree and darted for the cubby house. The party was at Logan’s place, and he knew exactly where we could get the best view.
“Okay, we made it. Open that window and we’ll be able to see,” Logan whispered.
“Ow, what the fuck is this?” Logan warned Rocky to keep his voice down.
“You’re sitting on a tea cup.”
We remained still as we watched them on the porch, the three of us shocked by what we saw. Apart from all the dick paraphernalia overload, the waiters were dressed in nothing but a leather thong, collar and mask. One of them even had a chain which Nikki was not afraid to use. I searched for Charlie, she was laughing uncontrollably as Eric animatedly talked. No doubt it was about the granny story.
It didn’t take him long before he shouted that the entertainment was here.
Entertainment?
And then we heard the sirens go off and low and behold, Eric yelled, “Does anyone here have burning loins?”
Nikki cheered loud along with Kate as three bulked up men appeared in firefighter costumes. Ridiculous.
“Do not look at me, ok? They are not actual firefighters. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they were gay or something,” Logan muttered.
I prayed to the gay god of Dorothy that they were.
Ginuwine’s Pony played in the background as Nikki persuaded Charlotte to sit on the chair. Now, I thought she would be mortified, but she seemed to enjoy it, her hands waving like she was in some nightclub as a single woman. Fuck!