“How the hell is this teambuilding?” Alec jerked the fairy wings from her hands and lifted them into the air. I could tell he was about five seconds away from setting them on fire with his mind.
“Well…”The producer of the show, aka the host, stood in front of each of us and clasped his hands together. “I’m so glad you asked.”
“Kill me now,” Alec muttered as we gathered around. “Chris Harrison has nothing on this dude.”
“The Bachelor? Are you seriously comparing our fate to The Bachelor?”
“It’s the only show that’s close enough to Hell I can come up with.”
“How do you figure?”
Alec shrugged. “Catty women that all look like Angelica.”
“Agh…” I nodded. “Solid point.”
We both looked in Angelica’s general direction. She was trudging through the sand in nothing but cut-off shorts, a bikini top, and a frog hat.
“Guess her and Jaymeson are the freaky frogs?”
“Toads, man” Jaymeson corrected me. “We’re toads.”
“Like I care.” I smirked as Jaymeson pulled the ugliest green shirt over his body and held out his hand to Angelica.
She nearly tripped on her feet as he tugged her closer to his body in the protection of his arm. Geez, seriously. I couldn’t do that. Not even if it was my job to pretend to play nice. All I could think of when I saw that girl was either strangling her or praying for the ocean to swallow me whole.
“As I was saying…” Ruben, our producer clapped again. “This week is teambuilding week.”
“We know,” Alec said under his breath.
“And, in order to make it interesting, we’ve divided you into teams for the viewers to vote for. We polled the fans and these are the team names they chose for you, so try to be a bit more positive.”
“Well, no sense touring then, since our fans HATE US!” Alec all but yelled.
Ruben ignored him and cleared his throat. “There will be prizes for best sportsmanship, best teamwork, best-looking couple, and of course, the grand prize of two days off the show where you get to go to a resort and spa with your partner!”
“Dude…” Alec hit me with his elbow. “No offense, but I will freaking drown you and not think twice about it. I need that time with Nat.”
“Wow, I feel loved.” I nodded. “Thanks for the warning.”
“Let me win,” he begged.
“Nope.” I shook my head. “Not gonna happen. Alyssa and I need some downtime too.”
“Hmm…” Alec squinted in Jaymeson’s direction. “Then let’s destroy them.”
“Good talk.” I hit him on the back.
“Today will be all about teamwork with your partner. People watching the show will vote for whatever team can keep from fighting over the course of the twenty-four hour period.”
“Got that in the bag.” I high-fived Alyssa next to me and nudged Alec. “Haven’t you and Nat been getting in a few… tiffs? The honeymoon’s nearly over, huh?”
“Bastard.”
I smiled gleefully and swept Alyssa off her feet, literally. “Winning!”
“I haven’t told you what your task is today.” Ruben cleared his throat.
Alyssa dropped back to her feet. I turned to Ruben and waited.
His smile was too wide and happy. He was going to torture us. I just knew it.
“Um?” Jaymeson raised his hand.
“What?” Ruben groaned. “What do you want?”
“Can I be on my own team?”
“Why?”
Jaymeson looked at Ruben as if to say, seriously you really don’t know why? “My partner keeps glaring at me.”
Angelica rolled her eyes.
“And…” Jaymeson continued. “I’m pretty sure, given the chance, she’s going to either throw me into oncoming traffic or poison my bottled water.”
“You’re an adult.” Ruben growled. “Deal with it. Thankfully, you’ve signed a release, so if you die… well… Rest in peace.”
“You can tell Ruben really cares,” I muttered. “Huge heart.”
“It’s just trapped like somewhere outside his body,” Alec added. “Where souls go to rot and people die.”
“Any more questions?” Ruben asked.
Alec and I both raised our hands.
“Anyone else?” Ruben ignored us and looked at Alyssa and Nat, who were both happily jumping up and down ready to take on the world.
“Right.” Ruben put on his sunglasses. “Each team will start with the canoes. Once you row to your destination on the map, you’ll need to start building your castle. Once the judges deem your castle tall enough, you’ll move on to the next task. Instructions will be at every point. This will last most of the morning before we give you your first break. May the best team win.”
My hand shot up again.
“What, Demetri? Make it fast.”
“Why are we doing this?”
Ruben sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Do I really need to explain why shirtless celebrities sell, Demetri? Or do you think you got that one nailed down?”
“You are shirtless a lot on the show…”Alec muttered next to me.
I smacked him on the back of the head and chose not to answer Ruben. Idiot.
“On your mark, get set, go!” Ruben jumped into the air.