I licked my own lips and then reached for my lemonade. Was the heat set a little high in here? I took a long drink. I was likely overcompensating. This was all a way to avoid thinking about trauma, right? Getting distracted by a good looking man? Giving in to the feelings he made twist in my stomach.
And then a rebellious streak inside me asked, so what? What if it was?
When I looked back at the table, it was to find Reece watching me. He looked immediately away, like he was the one embarrassed to be caught looking at me.
Which made my cheeks flush and my stomach do a little swoop.
Conversation swirled on around the table. Jeremiah started grilling Ruth about when the cows had last been vaccinated and where was the best place to get equipment they’d need to start reseeding grasses.
I tucked into the food, meatloaf Ruth had made for everyone, and enjoyed the laidback atmosphere of being around people. It had been so long since I’d been in a room anything like this. With conversation that was by turns easy, occasionally contentious between Jeremiah and Ruth, but always real. With real people talking about real things.
Was this what it could be like? Wherever I actually landed, when I got friends of my own, anyway. I swigged the overly sweet lemonade, another treat Jeff never would have allowed, and wondered when I’d stop comparing everything to my life with him, if ever.
After dinner everyone went their separate ways and I settled onto the bed in the room Reece had given up for me.
I was tired after the day of cleaning and scrubbing, it was true. But being tired after a day of actually using my body was so different from being tired from a day of tense muscles and dread of what might come when Jeff came home.
I felt exhilarated, flushed, and unable to sleep.
And the absurd, ridiculous impulse I’d had earlier in the day while watching Reece flitted back through my mind.
I turned off the light, got in bed, and tried to sleep.
Hours later, I was still trying.
I pulled the pillow over my head. God, no. It was ridiculous! I was Penelope Chambers, I couldn’t…
But even thinking that name had me sitting up in revolt.
No.
NO.
I wasn’t her anymore.
I’d never be her again, goddammit.
I looked at the clock. Ten at night. And then I yanked on the leggings Ruth had let me borrow, shoved my feet into the slippers—also from Ruth, and ran downstairs before I could think better of it.
I knocked on the door of the bunkhouse. No answer.
Crap. I looked over my shoulder at the bigger house and suddenly felt ridiculous. What the hell did I actually think I was doing here? Just showing up like something out of a movie, and what exactly had I planned on saying? Hi, you’re sexy, wanna have sex?
God, I was such an idiot.
I took a step back from the door, about to turn around, when it suddenly swung open.
And there was Reece, looking disheveled, one hand on the hem of his shirt like he’d just yanked it on to come to the door.
“Charlie.” He looked very surprised to see me of all people standing on his doorstep. He moved his body behind the door and it was only then that I realized he wore just his boxers and the undershirt. Right. He’d probably expected his brother.
I gulped.
“Is something wrong?” he asked, looking behind me to the big house, which I knew was completely dark.
And I was just standing there frozen like an idiotic statue in the middle of the night being a complete freak—
“You’re sexy and I wanted to have sex with you.”
Oh shit. Did I really just blurt that out? My hand slapped over my mouth like it couldn’t believe I’d just said it either.
Reece just stood there, still looking stunned in front of me, one hand on the top of the door, the other on the door frame. Wow, he looked really sexy standing like that.
Holy shit, what the hell was I thinking?
Abort! Abort!
I yanked my hand down from my mouth and took a step back. “Shit. I’m so sorry. That was completely inappropriate of me. God.” I waved my arm in the air. “Forget I ever said anything. Look I’m leaving tomorrow, so we can just—”
But before I could say another word, Reece had grabbed my flailing hand and pulled me inside the bunk house.
He closed the door behind me and for a second we just stood there inside the dark bunkhouse—there was only a nightstand lamp set up on the kitchen counter beside his cot to illuminate the large space.
I blinked, my breaths short and heavy, feeling goosebumps rise but also a flash of heat making me sweat at the same time.
And then we crashed together. I threw my arms around his thick, corded neck and dug my fingers into that unruly hair of his.