Reminders of Him

We’re at a different angle now, and he’s somehow able to stab into me even deeper. It’s only seconds before he starts to come. He tenses up and drops his weight on me. “Fuck.” He groans and then says, “Fuck,” a second time. Then he’s kissing me. Intense kisses at first, but after he pulls out, the kisses grow sweeter. Softer. Slower.

I already want it to happen again, but I need to catch my breath first. Maybe rehydrate. We kiss for a couple of minutes, and it’s so hard to stop because this is the first time we’ve been able to enjoy each other without things coming to an abrupt end.

It doesn’t help that the rain against the windows is creating the perfect backdrop to this moment. I don’t want it to end. I don’t think Ledger does either, because every time I think he’s finished kissing me, he comes back for more.

He does stop eventually, but only long enough to go to the bathroom and dispose of the condom. When he comes back to the bed, he adjusts himself until he’s spooning me, and then he kisses my shoulder.

He threads his fingers through mine and tucks our hands against my stomach. “I wouldn’t mind if we put that on the schedule again for tonight.”

I laugh at the way he phrased that. I don’t know why I find it funny. “Yes. Let’s tell Siri to put it on the calendar for an hour from now,” I tease.

“Hey, Siri!” he yells. Both of our phones go off at the same time. “Schedule sex with Kenna for one hour from now!” I laugh and elbow him, then roll onto my back. He lifts up and smiles down at me. “I’ll last a lot longer the second time. I promise.”

“I probably won’t,” I admit.

Ledger kisses me, and then he buries his head in my hair, tugging me closer to his side.

I stare up at the ceiling for a long time.

Maybe half an hour. Maybe even longer. Ledger’s breathing has evened out, and I’m almost positive he’s asleep.

The rain hasn’t let up at all, but my mind is too active for it to make me sleepy. I hear Ivy meow from the bathroom, so I slip off the mattress and let her out.

She hops onto the couch and curls up into a ball.

I walk to the counter and slide my notebook in front of me. I grab a pen and begin writing a letter to Scotty. It doesn’t take me long. It’s a short letter, but when I finish and close the notebook, I catch Ledger staring at me. He’s on his stomach with his chin resting on his arms.

“What did you write?” he asks.

This is the third time he’s asked me to read him something. This is the first time I feel like conceding.

I open the notebook to the letter I just wrote. I run my finger over Scotty’s name. “You might not like it.”

“Is it the truth?”

I nod.

Ledger points to the empty spot next to him on the bed. “Then I want to hear it. Come here.”

I raise an eyebrow in warning because not everyone can handle the truth as well as they think they can. But he remains steadfast, so I join him on the bed. He rolls onto his back, and I’m sitting cross-legged next to him when I begin to read.

“Dear Scotty,

I had sex with your best friend tonight. I’m not sure that’s something you want to hear. Or maybe it is. I get the feeling if you can hear these letters from wherever you are, you would want me to be happy. And right now, Ledger is the one thing in my life that makes me happy. If it’s any consolation, the sex with him was great, but no one can hold a candle to you.

Love,

Kenna.”

I close the notebook and rest it on my lap. Ledger is quiet for a moment as he stares stoically at the ceiling. “You’re just saying that so you don’t hurt his feelings, right?”

I laugh. “Sure. If that’s what you need to hear.”

He grabs the notebook and tosses it aside; then he wraps an arm around me and pulls me on top of him. “It was good, though, right?”

I press a finger to his lips and drop my mouth to his ear. “The best,” I whisper.

At the exact moment I say that, a loud clap of thunder rolls through the sky outside with perfect timing. It’s so loud I can feel it in my stomach.

“Oh shit,” Ledger says with a laugh. “Scotty didn’t like that. You better take it back. Tell him I suck.”

I immediately slide off Ledger and lie on my back. “I’m sorry, Scotty! You’re better than Ledger, I promise!”

We laugh together, but then we both sigh and listen to the rain for a while. Ledger eventually puts a hand on my hip and rolls me toward him. He nips at my bottom lip before kissing my neck. “I feel like I need another opportunity to prove myself.” His kisses move lower and lower until he takes one of my nipples into his mouth.