Go to her.
Of course.
I could drive to Arrow Woods, tell her that I bloody well love her, and see what happened.
“Boris, you’re a genius.” I grabbed his shoulders and hugged him. “Will you tell my mother where I’ve gone?”
Boris smiled. “Not a problem, sir.”
“Thank you!”
“Do try and return with her, sir. I’m quite fond of her.”
I looked over my shoulder with a grin. “Me, too, Boris. Me, too.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO – ADELAIDE
Meanwhile, in Arrow Woods…
“All right. That’s enough.” Eva burst into my bedroom and threw open my curtains. “I’m not doing this anymore, Adelaide!”
I groaned and pulled the covers over my head.
“No!” She ripped the covers off. “You’ve been in bed for five days!”
“I have not,” I grumbled. “I covered the check-in desk yesterday.”
“For twenty minutes in your yoga pants!”
“Nobody can see under the desk.”
“That’s not the point!” She threw my duvet to the floor and started rifling through my drawers. “I’ve had enough of this moping around. You’ve exceeded your allotted forty-eight hours and are now taking the piss.”
“You’re supposed to be nice to me, Eva.”
“I’ve been nice to you.” She put her hands on her hips and looked at me. “I’ve stroked your hair. I’ve wiped your tears. I’ve watched movies with you. I’ve brushed crumbs out of your bed. I’ve done your laundry. I’ve even been to feed that little tailless mouse you brought back with you.”
“Treacle is a guinea pig.”
“Whatever. Enough is enough now. It’s time for you to get up and take back control of your life. Either you go and tell Alexander how you feel, or you get up and get the hell over him.” She threw a dress at me. “Get dressed.”
I sat up and looked at her. “Why would I tell him how I feel? He doesn’t care.”
“Do you know that? Have you asked him?”
“Obviously not.”
“There we go, then. You don’t know. Frankly, I don’t care which one you do, just that you do something before you melt away.” She pointed to the bathroom. “Shower. Get dressed. Do your makeup. Get out of this room.”
“You think I should tell him how I feel?”
“Oh, God, here we go.” Eva gripped the edge of the bed and hit me with a stare. “Yes, Adelaide, I do. If you’d done that in the first place there’s a good chance all of this could have been avoided, but you’re both giant bloody chickens.”
I swallowed.
“Get up, drive up to Whitborough, go to Bentley Manor, and tell him how you feel. If you don’t, you might just lose the chance forever. You clearly love him, Addy. You’re so obviously in love with him that Stevie Wonder could see it!”
“You don’t need to go that far.”
She held out her hands. “I’m right, and you know I am. Even if he doesn’t return the gesture, it doesn’t make a difference. You’ll know, and that means you can get closure and move on with your life.”
I looked down at the bed. “Fine, I’ll shower.”
“Better than nothing.”
I got up and grabbed the towel she handed to me on my way into my bathroom. I ran the hottest shower I could stand and stepped in, letting the water beat down on me. I went through all the motions of the shower, washing my hair and body, and finally paused to think at the end.
What if Eva was right?
I was in love with Alexander. It’d been all I could think about since I’d gotten back here, and I’d almost texted him a thousand times to tell him that I missed him or some other silly message I’d have sent without thinking while I was with him.
Was I hurting myself because I was too afraid he didn’t feel the same?
Yes.
I was.
It was that simple, wasn’t it? Go, tell him how I feel, and either move forward with him or move on without him.
I turned off the shower and wrapped myself in towels, rushing out of the bathroom.
Eva jolted when she saw me. “What?”
“I’m going,” I said, clutching my town. “To Whitborough. I’m going to tell Alexander how I feel.”
A smile crept over her face. “Not like that you’re not. Let’s get you sorted out.”
***
My brakes squealed as I pulled up outside Bentley Manor. The gates had been open, and I hoped that meant Alexander would be here. Inside. Waiting.
So I could tell him that I loved him.
And even if he didn’t feel the same and he didn’t say it back, it was okay, because I just needed to say it. I needed to tell him that I was horribly, terrifically, hopelessly in love with him, and let the chips fall where they may.
I scrambled out of my car and slammed the door behind me, then ran up to the heavy wooden doors of the manor. My heart was racing—I’d never felt a fear like this. It was almost exhilarating, fear and panic but in a way that almost felt good, like I was supposed to feel all this right now.