'Americani.' His heart cracked, and he fell in love. He wondered if she would marry him.
'Tu sei pazzo,' she told him with a pleasant laugh.
'Why am I crazy?' he asked.
'Perchè non posso sposare.'
'Why can't you get married?'
'Because I am not a virgin,' she answered.
'What has that got to do with it?'
'Who will marry me? No one wants a girl who is not a virgin.'
'I will. I'll marry you.'
'Ma non posso sposarti.'
'Why can't you marry me?'
'Perchè sei pazzo.'
'Why am I crazy?'
'Perchè vuoi sposarmi.' Yossarian wrinkled his forehead with quizzical amusement. 'You won't marry me because I'm crazy, and you say I'm crazy because I want to marry you? Is that right?'
'Si.'
'Tu sei pazz'!' he told her loudly.
'Perchè?' she shouted back at him indignantly, her unavoidable round breasts rising and falling in a saucy huff beneath the pink chemise as she sat up in bed indignantly. 'Why am I crazy?'
'Because you won't marry me.'
'Stupido!' she shouted back at him, and smacked him loudly and flamboyantly on the chest with the back of her hand. 'Non posso sposarti! Non capisci? Non posso sposarti.'
'Oh, sure, I understand. And why can't you marry me?'
'Perchè sei pazzo!'
'And why am I crazy?'
'Perchè vuoi sposarmi.'
'Because I want to marry you. Carina, ti amo,' he explained, and he drew her gently back down to the pillow. 'Ti amo molto.'
'Tu sei pazzo,' she murmured in reply, flattered.
'Perchè?'
'Because you say you love me. How can you love a girl who is not a virgin?'
'Because I can't marry you.' She bolted right up again in a threatening rage. 'Why can't you marry me?' she demanded, ready to clout him again if he gave an uncomplimentary reply. 'Just because I am not a virgin?'
'No, no, darling. Because you're crazy.' She stared at him in blank resentment for a moment and then tossed her head back and roared appreciatively with hearty laughter. She gazed at him with new approval when she stopped, the lush, responsive tissues of her dark face turning darker still and blooming somnolently with a swelling and beautifying infusion of blood. Her eyes grew dim. He crushed out both their cigarettes, and they turned into each other wordlessly in an engrossing kiss just as Hungry Joe came meandering into the room without knocking to ask if Yossarian wanted to go out with him to look for girls. Hungry Joe stopped on a dime when he saw them and shot out of the room. Yossarian shot out of bed even faster and began shouting at Luciana to get dressed. The girl was dumbfounded. He pulled her roughly out of bed by her arm and flung her away toward her clothing, then raced for the door in time to slam it shut as Hungry Joe was running back in with his camera. Hungry Joe had his leg wedged in the door and would not pull it out.
'Let me in!' he begged urgently, wriggling and squirming maniacally. 'Let me in!' He stopped struggling for a moment to gaze up into Yossarian's face through the crack in the door with what he must have supposed was a beguiling smile. 'Me no Hungry Joe,' he explained earnestly. 'Me heap big photographer from Life magazine. Heap big picture on heap big cover. I make you big Hollywood star, Yossarian. Multi dinero. Multi divorces. Multi ficky-fic all day long. Si, si, si!' Yossarian slammed the door shut when Hungry Joe stepped back a bit to try to shoot a picture of Luciana dressing. Hungry Joe attacked the stout wooden barrier fanatically, fell back to reorganize his energies and hurled himself forward fanatically again. Yossarian slithered into his own clothes between assaults. Luciana had her green-and-white summer dress on and was holding the skirt bunched up above her waist. A wave of misery broke over him as he saw her about to vanish inside her panties forever. He reached out to grasp her and drew her to him by the raised calf of her leg. She hopped forward and molded herself against him. Yossarian kissed her ears and her closed eyes romantically and rubbed the backs of her thighs. She began to hum sensually a moment before Hungry Joe hurled his frail body against the door in still one more desperate attack and almost knocked them both down. Yossarian pushed her away.