"I need to clock them some more. I want to go again."
"I can arrange that again."
"Will Michael come with me?"
"If you pay him for the day. Are things all right?"
"Wouldn't I want to tell you if they were?"
"But would you tell me?"
"That would depend."
"On what?"
"If I could tell you the truth."
"Would you tell me the truth?"
"Do I know what it is?"
"Could you tell me a lie?"
"Only if I knew the truth."
"You're being honest with me."
"My father wants that."
"Mr. Minderbinder mentioned you were going to call," said the sanguine, soft-spoken voice belonging to the man named Jerry Gaffney when Yossarian telephoned him.
"That's funny," said Yossarian. "Which one?"
"Mr. Minderbinder senior."
"That's very funny then," said Yossarian in a harder manner. "Because Minderbinder senior insisted I not mention his name to you when I phoned."
"It was a test to see if you could keep things secret."
"You gave me no chance to pass it."
"I trust my clients, and I want all of them to know they can always trust Jerry Gaffney. Without trust, what else is there? I put everything out front. I'll give you proof of that now. You should know that this telephone line is tapped."
Yossarian caught his breath. "How the hell did you find that out?"
"It's my telephone line and I want it tapped," Mr. Gaffney explained reasonably. "There, see? You can count on Jerry Gaffney. It's only me who's recording it."
"Is my line tapped?" Yossarian thought he should ask. "I make many business calls."
"Let me look it up. Yes, your business is tapping it. Your apartment may be bugged too."
"Mr. Gaffney, how do you know all this?"
"Call me Jerry, Mr. Yossarian."
"How do you know all this, Mr. Gaffney?"
"Because I'm the one who tapped it and I'm one of the parties who may have bugged it, Mr. Yossarian. Let me give you a tip. All walls may have ears. Talk only in the presence of running water if you want to talk privately. Have sex only in the bathroom or kitchen if you want to make love or under the air conditioner with the fan setting turned up to--That's it!" he cheered, after Yossarian had walked into the kitchen with his portable phone and turned on both faucets full pressure to talk secretly. "We're picking up nothing. I can barely hear you."