He looked away, but not before I saw the shine in his eyes.
I fought it. With everything I had.
But my body fought back.
Eventually, my eyes closed and I couldn’t open them again.
I felt his hands in my hair.
I felt his lips on my forehead.
And as I fell into the dark, I heard him say one last thing.
He said, “I will come back to you.”
And then I was gone.
WHEN I dreamed, I dreamed of him.
We walked through the forest, the moon full overhead.
He held my hand, and his eyes were red.
In the shadows beyond the trees came the sound of great paws upon the earth.
The wolves circled around us, but we weren’t afraid.
Because they were ours.
Joe said, “It’ll be okay.”
And I smiled.
I WOKE slowly.
I didn’t know where I was.
It that moment before I came fully awake, nothing hurt because nothing was wrong.
My mother was still alive.
Thomas was still alive.
There was a weight against me, like I was surrounded.
In my muddled mind, I thought I’d fallen asleep at the Bennett house, surrounded by pack. I remembered a fatly shining moon and thought we’d spent the night running in the woods.
I’d have to call Gordo, I knew. He always worried after full moons. He didn’t like waiting until I walked into the shop later in the day. He needed to know.
I couldn’t remember if my mom had come out the night before. So I’d have to call her too.
Joe and I would have breakfast. Maybe our feet would tangle together under the table. And maybe I’d work up the courage to hold his hand. Carter and Kelly would probably make fun of us for it after hearing the way our heartbeats went out of control, but that was okay. Elizabeth would scold them and Mark would smile his secret smile and Thomas would just look content as he watched us from his place at the head of the table. And when I caught his eye, he’d flash his red, red eyes at me and wink, and I would know what it meant to have a father again, I would know—
The fog started to clear.
The pain started.
It was a sliver at first. An irritant, just underneath my skin. I picked at it. I worried at it.