I squinted at her. “A what?”
“Your thing. With Joe.”
“It’s not—”
She sighed. “God, I am so glad I got out of that when I did.”
“It wasn’t destiny,” I said, ignoring the little jab. “It was a choice. He chose me.”
“And you chose him back. After you found out what it meant.”
I had, but a lot of good that was doing me. So I said nothing.
“Explains a lot,” she said.
“Does it?”
She looked at me as if I was an idiot.
“What?”
She said, “Ox, Joe hated me.”
“He didn’t hate you.” Disliked strongly, maybe. But hate? I didn’t think Joe was capable of hate. Not even Richard Collins. Not back then. Now, though. I didn’t know about now. I didn’t know him anymore to say what he was now.
“You’re stupid,” she said seriously. “This whole thing is stupid.”
“Kind of,” I agreed.
“Agreeing with me isn’t going to get you off the hook,” she warned me.
“I know.” Well, I hadn’t known, but I did now. So maybe I wouldn’t have to agree with her as much.
“That explains why you’ve been moping for the last couple of years.”
“I haven’t been moping—”
“Kind of moping,” Rico said. “Maybe not all of the time.”
“But most of the time,” Tanner said.
“He stares off into the distance sometimes,” Chris added helpfully. “With his quiet strength. And his angst.”
“I hate all of you,” I said very seriously.
“I didn’t say anything,” Robbie said.
“He was never at college,” Jessie said. “So that’s another lie you told me. Told everyone.”
“It wasn’t supposed to be a lie—”
“Why haven’t you gone looking for him?”
Like that hadn’t crossed my mind before. “I wouldn’t even know where to start. And I promised him I’d stay here. Look after the others. The pack.”
“You wouldn’t be able to find him by your mystical moon connection?”
“My mystical—Jesus. Stop calling it that!”