“No.”
“Dammit.”
“I can’t comment on this,” Kevin said. “Given my position as his stepfather.”
“You’re not my—”
“I’d hit that so hard,” Kevin told Sir.
“This did not turn out how I thought it would,” I said.
“Does it ever?” Justin asked. “That was a legitimate question, by the way. Does anything ever turn out like you think it will?”
I nodded toward Ryan. “Locked that shit down, didn’t I?”
“Oh snap,” Tiggy said.
“Fist-bump me, babe,” I said to Ryan, holding out my hand.
“Yeah, I’m not going to do that,” Ryan said.
“Watch,” Gary whispered to Tiggy. “It’ll take five to ten seconds for him to give in. I’ve been teaching Sam how to unicorn.”
I widened my eyes as much as possible and fluttered my eyelashes. “But, I want you to. For me? Please?”
Ryan sighed and fist-bumped me.
“Works every time,” Gary said.
“I can hear you,” Ryan said. “You’re standing right next to me and not trying to hide the fact that you’re talking about me.”
“I thought we talked about how stalking me is wrong now that you’re in a monogamous relationship with one of my best friends,” Gary said. “Get a grip, Ryan. This obsession you have with me is going to ruin the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”
“You talked about that,” Ryan reminded him. “Loudly and repeatedly. Once you woke me up at three in the morning by standing above me and breathing on my face, only to tell me to stop following you.”
“Maybe you should listen!”
“You were in my room.”
“I’ll find you true love,” I told Justin. “If it’s the last thing I do.”
“That feels like a threat,” he said slowly.
“A threat of love,” I agreed. “Now, I think it’s time we head back to the castle. I’m famished and I’m probably going to get yelled at by four or five different people for sneaking you out to meet with a leather daddy.”
“The castle?” Sir sai
d.
“Oh, right,” I said. “Yeah, this is Justin, the Prince of Verania, that you just tried to violate with your existence. Good job.”
“Holy shit,” he said, paling considerably. “The Prince? That means—” He looked from Gary to Tiggy. From Kevin to Ryan. Then back to me. “That means you’re—”
I grinned at him. “Damn right. I’m Sam of Wilds, King’s Wizard.”
“Apprentice,” Gary coughed.
“Don’t explode my nipples!” Sir said as he stood up quickly, knocking his chair back. “I didn’t know it was you!”