“Maybe you could just tell me. Has the movement died down because everyone realized that they love me and Lady Tina was fed to a pack of wild fire geckos while the people of the City of Lockes cheered?”
He hesitated.
Which, of course, I understood completely. “Something even better happened? Great! As long as she is in pieces, I am perfectly fine with whatever it is.”
“A large crowd burned you in effigy in the city square near the castle.”
“See? That’s even better. Why, I knew everyone would come—say what?”
He almost looked amused, but since he was my best friend 5eva, I knew that couldn’t be the case. “Yes. It was really quite spectacular, if I say so myself. It was perhaps the size of two of you stacked atop each other and made completely of straw. Granted, they couldn’t get the face quite right, given that it was a burlap sack, but I do believe they got your dazed expression as close as possible.”
I was aghast. “And no one stopped this?”
He shrugged. “Pete said they had a permit.”
“How in the hell are there permits to burn effigies!”
“Freedom of speech? Also, there are permits for almost anything. It’s up to the permit office to approve them, though I thought I saw a few of the workers at the burning, so I wasn’t surprised they had one.”
“Maybe it wasn’t me.”
“There was a sign attached to it that said THIS IS SAM OF WILDS.”
“Maybe it was another Sam of Wilds.”
“Lady Tina was shouting at the front that it represented the apprentice to the King’s Wizard and that she meant it to be only that Sam of Wilds.”
“Curses,” I said. “She thought of everything.”
“She is pretty nuts,” Justin agreed.
“Huh,” I said. “I don’t know how I feel about this. I mean, yeah, one part of me is totally upset that people hate me that much. On the other hand, how cool is it they literally built a straw effigy of me with the sole purpose of burning it? Like, I am on their minds that much that they do something like that? It’ll probably take just one little push to get them to loving me.”
Justin sighed. “Your wishful thinking will be your undoing.”
“Eh,” I said. “I prefer to think of it as eternal optimism. How long did it burn for?”
“Ages.”
“Damn right,” I said. “If I’m going to burn, it’s gonna last a long time.”
He shook his head, giving me that look that said I was an idiot. “I don’t understand you.”
I cocked my head at him. “Why? I’m pretty simple if you think about it.”
“I’m not going to argue with you there. You are very simple.”
“Thank you!” I said, beaming at him.
“That’s not what I meant, though.”
“What did you mean, then?”
He hesitated.
“Come on,” I said, poking him on the arm. “Tell me. Tell me. Tellmetellmetellme—”
He glared at me. “If you stop, I will consider it.”