“Are you for real?”
He looks surprised. “What do you mean?”
“This,” I say, waving my hands around. “You. This has to be a fucking joke.”
“I assure you it’s not. I simply like to get to know the families I am counseling.”
“Are you serious?” I snarl at him.
“Anger!” he practically shouts. “Good! It shows that you’re alive! What are you?”
I wonder if he’s a Sith Lord, because I am angry. I’m Luke Skywalker, temptation personified.
“What are you!” he says again, louder.
“Pissed off!”
“And what are you pissed off at!”
“You!”
“And why is that!”
“Because I shouldn’t have to sit here and answer these stupidly ridiculous questions! It’s not about me. It’s not about Otter. It’s about Tyson, and how he’s mine, and how my mom thinks she can take him away from me when she’s done nothing to make him who he is. If there’s any good in him, it’s because I sacrificed everything to make sure it’s there. If there’s anything redeemable about him, it’s because I made sure it’s there. Not her.
She didn’t do shit! How dare she think she can come back, that she can wreck what I’ve worked so hard to make? I didn’t ask for this! I could’ve run, just like she did. But I didn’t. I stayed. I will never be like her. This is my family she’s fucking with, and I will never let them go! She wants to take me on? She wants to start this fight? Fine! I’ll make her sorry she ever decided to fu
ck with us!” I stop, breathing hard, pretty sure I’ve just been shouting at this man in front of me and that no beads or door would have blocked out the sound of my voice. Otter and the Kid are probably sitting in identical positions, their faces in their hands as they both think we can’t take him anywhere. At least Carl Jung is not gnawing on my shin bone anymore.
I must have scared him off when I went to the Dark Side of the Force.
“Feel better?” Eddie grins at me.
You know what?
I do.
Goddammit!
“Sometimes people just need to shout,” he says with a shrug. “Look, Bear or Derrick or whoever you are today, I’m not here to make your life difficult. I’m not here to make things harder for you or Tyson. Like Georgia, it’s my job to make sure Tyson is safe. But I’m also here to make sure that you and your brother are still somewhat sane after an insane situation.” He sighs and whatever façade he’s had since I’ve walked in the room slowly melts away. “Look. I’ve seen some horrible things, heard some horrible stories. I’ve seen children that have been the victim of such horrendous abuse that I don’t know if they’ll ever recover. I’m a firm believer that children should have at least one parental figure in their lives because it helps to shape who we are.
“That being said, I’ve never come across a situation as… unique, as yours. Bear, you may think you’re angry. You may think you’re confused. I wouldn’t blame you. But I am here to tell you that you’re also one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. You’ve had to be, to do what you’ve done.
Some people may call you foolish, some people may call you brave, but no one can say what you did was wrong. Lesser men would have broken under such a burden, much less agreed to take it on. Tyson is very lucky to have you as a brother. Just remember that you need to love yourself as much as you love him and Oliver.”
I nod, not trusting myself to speak. If anyone here is lucky, it’s me.
Otter may be the reason I can live now, but the Kid is the reason I’m alive at all.
Eddie watches me for a moment before clapping his hands together.
“Okay! Let’s go get your Otter-man and allow me to talk with him for a bit.
You and Tyson can sit tight, and then I’ll pull you all back in to discuss what’s next.” He puts his hands on the doorknob and is about to turn it when he looks back at me. “Why do you call him Kid?” he asks. “I noticed in some of the intake paperwork that you referred to him like that was his name.”
I shrug. “Just something—”
did you hear what he called you derrick