Yes. Yes. Yes. “No.”
“Okay. You sit yourself down. I’ll bring you some coffee. You want juice this morning?”
I just want you. “No. Coffee’s fine.”
Sean’s hand trails up his arm and onto his shoulder and Mike thinks about flying through glass. It’s slipping, in fact it’s mostly gone, but there’s still the sensory experience of it. The glass shattering behind him, the weight of a person on his chest. He doesn’t remember who it was or what was happening, but he knows they were there.
Sean’s back with a mug and a pot of black coffee. He pours it, steam wafting up. It smells good. It smells real. It grounds Mike because this is what he knows. This is his life. It’s not that dream, it’s not the—
“Maybe you should keep the shop closed today,” Sean says, breaking Mike out of his thoughts.
“Why?”
“So you can get some rest. You look like you need it.”
“That your way of saying I don’t look good?”
Sean rolls his eyes as he sits across from Mike in the booth. “No. That’s my way of saying I don’t want you to get sick. And that I feel bad.”
“For what?”
Sean runs his fingers over the tabletop. “Keeping you up last night. You could have been at home.”
“Now see here,” Mike says. “I was there because I wanted to be. You couldn’t have made me leave if you tried.”
“Really.”
“I gotta take care of you,” Mike says, and he thinks it might be the most honest thing he’s ever said.
“Why?”
“Because you need it.”
“Mike.”
“Because I want to.”
Sean arches an eyebrow. “So then I can do the same for you. We take care of each other. That’s how this thing works.”
“This thing.”
“You know what I mean.”
Mike’s mouth is a little dry. “You and me.”
“Yes, Mike. You and me.”
“Because we’re a thing.”
Sean squints at him. “Did I break you?”
“A little,” Mike admits. “I had… hope.”
Sean’s amused now, amused by Mike, like he often is. “And what did you hope for, big guy?”
He hesitates, because this feels important. He wants to get it right. Mike’s always had a bit of a problem with his words, sometimes saying one thing but meaning another. He wants there to be no misinterpretation about what he wants. He says, “I hoped to have you. All of you.”
Sean’s eyes widen a little bit. “All of me.” He sounds breathless.