Murmuration - Page 89
“No,” Mike says faintly.
“Good. Now that that’s out of the way.”
“What the hell.”
“Hush, big guy. I’m thinking.”
Mike hushes and lets him think.
“You’ll show this to me,” he finally says. “Tomorrow.”
“What?”
“The road to the mountains. It’ll start there. We’ll go. I’ll see what you saw. We’ll figure this out, okay?”
He thinks, I’m not alone. He believes me and I’m not alone.
“Okay,” he says. “Yeah. Okay.”
“Why now?” Sean asks. “Why can you remember all of this now? Why not before? Is it some Commie experiment? Like, they sealed off the town and are running tests?”
“I don’t know.”
“Or alien ghosts.”
“That’s not that funny,” Mike mutters.
“It sort of is. If you think about it.”
“I could be making this all up,” Mike says. “This could be all in my head. This could be insanity. This whole thing. These ghosts. These voices. These events. The people. You.” He’s choking again. “Sean, you might not be—”
Sean kisses him then. It’s hard and insistent and more teeth than any other time they’ve kissed. He presses his body against Mike’s, the long line of him warm. They fit like this too. Mike shouldn’t be surprised by how much, but they do. It’s chaste, and then it’s not because Sean rolls his hips against Mike’s. He gasps, and Sean’s tongue is against his. He’s clutching at Sean, desperately trying to move them together more. Sean’s tongue is in his mouth and he’s never had anything like this, nothing that he can remember. Sean’s panting against him and this is all Mike wants. This is all he’s ever wanted.
Sean gentles the kiss down. They’re both hard and they both know it, but Sean’s not pushing for more, and Mike’s not sure he can ask for anything more than he already has right now.
Sean sighs against his lips, and Mike can feel the just-for-Mike smile. It’s good, even better when it’s this close.
“That’s real,” Sean mumbles. “Okay? You and I are real. I don’t care if I have to tell you this every day for the rest of our lives. You and I are real and you and I will always be real. It doesn’t matter to me what happened before. It doesn’t matter to me what happens tomorrow. Just as long as right now, you know that I’m real. You’re real. We’re real. You get me, big guy?”
“I get you,” Mike says roughly. “Yeah.”
“Yeah.” And, “It’s funny, though. And odd.”
“What is?”
“I can remember, Mike,” Sean says. “I can remember the day you came. I remember days before you. I remember my f-f-family. M-m-my p-parents. It’s—”
“Sean? Sean.”
It happens then. While he watches. He thinks it happened with Doc while sitting in his office. With Walter in the diner after the photos were on the ground. He thinks it is just like it was then. Sean’s eyes slowly slide unfocused. His mouth falls open slightly, and he exhales. He says, “I don’t… I can’t…,” and it looks like it’s hurting him. His mouth is twisting and he’s starting to tense. His jaw clenches. He chokes out, “Mike, Mike, it’s, I can’t, I won’t have this—”
And all Mike can do is hold on as Sean starts to seize, eyes rolling back up into his head, and he’s thinking, No, not him, not now, you can’t have him, you can’t have him, but Sean’s shaking. His legs are kicking the covers away and his head is jerking back and forth. Seconds ago, less than a minute, they’d been pressed together like this, and Mike’s lips are still spit-slick from it. Now he pulls Sean into his arms as Sean’s limbs skitter out of control, jerking against him. He’s worried Sean’s going to choke on his tongue, but before he can do anything about it, it’s over. Sean’s entire body goes rigid and he lets out this low grunt, and then he all but collapses against Mike.
Sean’s brow is sweaty when he presses it against Mike’s neck, but he’s breathing slow and even, and Mike thinks he’s either asleep or unconscious. He doesn’t know the difference. He doesn’t know that it matters.
He waits, though he knows what’s coming.
He waits as the hours pass.
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