I rolled my eyes. “Dude. You know her.”
“Yeah, but she’s Helena now. I only know him as Sandy. There’s a big difference.”
Helena chuckled deeply. “Oh, sugar,” she said to Vince. “It’s so nice to finally meet a big strapping man such as yourself who understands the distinction.” She trailed a gloved hand around his neck and kissed him on the cheek. He blushed brightly, but a smile grew on his face. For some reason, I felt like tackling a drag queen right then and there so she’d take her grubby fucking hands off my man.
I cleared my throat as they gazed lovingly into each other’s eyes. “Do you guys want to go ahead and fuck and get it over with? I can definitely go sit with Daddy Charlie and allow you guys to have some time alone. I’ll warn you, though, Vince. Sandy’s balls have already been taped, so his erection will hurt.”
“Don’t listen to him,” Helena said, her lips right near Vince’s ear. “Paul’s just jealous because all the boys think I’m pretty. Do you think I’m pretty, Vince?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said. “But I don’t think I’m going to be able to look at you the same when we go to work on Monday. Oh, and I think Paul is prettier than you. No offense.”
Helena laughed.
“Gross,” I muttered even though I wanted to grin and break dance. Then I realized that doing somersaults on the floor is not considered break dancing, so I did nothing.
“Who’s your daddy?” Vince asked me suspiciously.
“Uh, you are?” I said, bewildered. Were we at this stage already? I didn’t know the etiquette of the proper response to answering such a question this early in the relationship.
He snorted. “Thanks. I think that might be hot. Sort of. I meant who’s Daddy Charlie?”
“That’d be me,” Charlie said as huffed up the stairs behind us. “And you are?” Then he saw who was asking, and he widened his eyes and started laughing. “Looks like Paul certainly had an interesting week,” he said to Helena.
“He most certainly has. I told you at the show on Wednesday that our little Paulie was going to be just full of surprises. Turns out that Vince has an ass to die for and Paul just couldn’t resist following it around everywhere.” She winked at me. “Isn’t that right, baby doll?”
Of course I sputtered. “I didn’t… I don’t even know… you hush your mouth… bike shorts… he was wearing bike shorts….”
Helena and Charlie shared a knowing look. “Our little boy is growing up so fast,” Helena sniffed.
“I knew you liked my ass,” Vince told me smugly.
“I got over it quickly,” I lied through my teeth.
“I want to see what’s got our Paul so twisted up in knots,” Charlie said.
Vince immediately dropped his hand to the button on his jeans. Charlie and Helena grinned lecherously before I stepped in. “I don’t think that’s quite necessary,” I said with a glare. “And do you just take off your pants for anybody?” I growled at Vince.
“Only for people who ask nicely,” he said.
“You’re a big, fat whore.”
He leaned in and kissed me. “Not a very nice thing to say to your boyfriend.”
“Blech.”
“You got five minutes,” Charlie said to Helena.
“You coming down to the floor tonight, sugar?” she asked me. “I promise I won’t pull you on stage this time.”
“He’ll be down there,” Vince said. “He’s got to meet Darren tonight. He doesn’t get to hide up here.”
Helena beamed at Vince. “Oh, baby doll. How I adore you right now.”
“I’m glad people talk about me like I’m not even here,” I grumbled to Charlie.
“Boy, you lost the right to think for yourself over your shenanigans last weekend. You’re lucky you weren’t here on Wednesday when Helena told me what you were up to. I was planning on an ass beating that you’d never forget.”
I grinned at him. “You promise, Daddy?”