“Is this a money thing?” Dad asked. “Because you know we want to pay for everything.”
“It’s not about money,” I said, shaking my head. “And while we appreciate you wanting cover the cost of everything, we can’t ask you to do that.”
“Oh,” Mom said. “Well, this is going to get awkward, then.”
I narrowed my eyes at them. “What did you do?”
Mom and Dad exchanged a glance before Dad said, “We might have accidentally called the ranch and instructed them to charge everything to us and had them refund the deposit?”
“You what?”
“Whoa,” Vince said. “Righteous.”
“And we might have paid for your suits in full,” Mom said, looking somewhat chagrined.
“Why the hell would you do that?” I demanded.
“Because you’re our son,” Dad said. “And you’re marrying the love of your life. Of course we want to pay for it. Paul, it’s the least we could do for the both of you.”
Any unnecessary anger I’d felt departed almost immediately. “But… this is your retirement. You guys shouldn’t be spending it on us.”
Mom rolled her eyes. “That’s right. It is our retirement. Meaning that your father and I get to decide to do what we wish. And our wish is to pay for your wedding. Don’t argue with us, Paul. Not on this. You’re not going to change our minds. You’re our son, and this is going to be your only wedding. Of course we want to pay for it. If anything, think of it this way: you’ll now be able to take a honeymoon. We know you were going to postpone any trip since you’d just gone to Asia last year.”
God, I loved the hell out of them.
“Yeah,” I said roughly. “Okay.”
She looked surprised but pleased. “Huh,” she said, smiling at Dad. “That was easier than I thought it was going to be. Either I am very convincing, or whatever they want to tell us is terrible and they’re softening the blow.”
“You’re still going to have babies, right?” Dad said, blood draining from his face. “Paul, you promised me grandbabies.”
“I promised you no such thing,” I said. “You were all up on Vince, convincing him that—”
“Because you can’t spell convincing without Vince,” Vince said.
“Oh, baby,” I said. “You can. You really, really can.”
He looked confused, and I could see him mouthing the letters. “Oh,” he finally said. “Right. My bad.”
“And this has nothing to do with kids, anyway,” I continued. “We haven’t had that discussion. We probably won’t have that discussion for a very long time.”
“It’s not like you’re getting any younger,” Dad muttered.
“Hey!”
“Oh snap,” Nana said. “That sounded like it burned. Holla.”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm myself.
“Uh-oh,” Mom said. “He’s doing that nostril thing. Larry, I think he’s being serious.”
“I don’t do a nostril thing!”
“Yes you do,” everyone else said.
“I think it’s cute,” Vince said. “It’s one of the first things I noticed about you.”
“Aww,” Nana said. “That’s so sweet.”