“What promise?”
“Think, Benji. You know. You’ve seen this. You’ve heard this. You’ve been there. It was in—”
the river
“—your dreams. You’ve been getting closer and closer every time, and you finally heard what you were supposed to hear.”
I close my eyes and in the dark, I remember the river:
You have to protect him. If you are who you say you are, if you are a guardian angel, if you’ve been watching us all this time, then I’m asking you. No, I’m begging you. Do your duty. Guard him. Protect him with everything you can. Never take your eyes off him and let no harm come down on him. Do you promise me?
Big Eddie, I—
Promise me! You fucking promise me! This is my son! You fucking promise me!
I promise.
“He promised to protect me,” I whisper.
“He did, but it was more than that. He is a guardian, Benji, and he would have guarded you anyway. But he was bound to his promise because Big Eddie meant it more than being a guardian. And Calliel knew that when he made the promise. He knew what it meant to accept a dying man’s last wishes. He loves you, yes, more than I think I’ve ever seen before, but he fell to keep the promise he made to your father.”
My mind is spinning, and I am dangerously close to being overwhelmed. There are too many emotions running through me all at once. I feel detached, and I can see everything Michael has told me swirling in me like a great storm. It’s a massive thing, an angry thing, but every now and then there’s a flash of blue, mixed in with all the black and gray and red. It’s small, but it’s bright, so very, very bright. I latch onto it, and the warmth I feel from it is like nothing else I’ve known.
“So he fell?” I ask, closing my eyes to see the blue lights.
“Yes,” Michael says. “It’s part of our limited free will, the choices that we can make. Metatron made that decision. And now Calliel.”
“You keep saying free will,” I tell him. “But it sounds like anything but.”
He laughs and I open my eyes. “Semantics,” he says with a wave of his hand.
“So what is my test? What decision do I have to make?”
He opens his mouth to answer, but then his eyes blacken completely and he rocks his head back slightly, his mouth dropping open. His wings shudder violently, and impossibly (improbably, I manage to think) a flash of light begins to spin above his head. I realize I’m looking at the faint outline of a halo. His lips begin to move as his eyes twitch back and forth toward the ceiling. The whispers from the walls of the White Room get louder and louder until they sound like the flow of a river. I cover my ears with my hands and bow my head as the White Room erupts in brilliant light.
And then it’s over.
I slowly open my eyes as I lower my hands. I look back up at Michael, who is rubbing the sides of his head. “What the fuck was that?”
“That,” he mutters, “was my Father.”
I gape at him. “You just spoke to him? To God?”
He chuckles. “More like he spoke and I listened.”
“What did he say?” I am sure I don’t want to know, but I can’t stop myself from asking.
“That I’ve said enough,” Michael says ruefully. “That instead of telling you, it’s time to show you.” He shakes his head. “Unexpected, to say the least. I don’t think this has ever been done.” He stares at me hard. “What is it about you? Who are you?”
The whispers in the White Room quiet. All that’s left is the sound of my ragged breaths. “I am Benjamin Edward Green,” I say. “I am my father’s son.”
He stands suddenly, his wings flapping up behind him. He’s a commanding presence as he holds out his hand toward me. I think of my father as I stand and take his hand. “Where are we going?” I ask the archangel.
“Away,” he says. “There is a man who needs your help. A choice needs to be made.”
“Why? Why must we always make choices?”
“Because my Father has commanded it.” His wings begin to close around us, to capture us in a cocoon. I glance one last time at the child’s shadow burned into the wall and send a single wish to him and the man named Seven. I wish for their happiness and that they can know peace, whatever it might take. Michael’s wings close completely, and the White Room is gone.