“That’s why you need to finish your book,” Jaime says.
“Have you started writing a book?” Lukas’s voice is dark, intense.
I’ve imagined this scenario so many times, him showing an interest in me, but now that it’s happening I feel like my tongue is trying to loop itself into traitorous knots.
“A few,” I say. “But I think I need to start plotting them. I’ve been pantsing… that’s a writer term for going with the flow, basically. I always get lost, forget where I’m supposed to be going. So this time, I’ve promised myself I’m going to be more methodical.”
“I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Lukas smirks. Is he mocking me? “I’ve never been much of a reader, but I’ll look forward to it.”
I almost snap at him not to make fun of me, but dad and Jaime seem to miss the significance of his smirk, of that glint in his eyes. He picks up his drink and takes a small sip, leaving me to wonder if I imagined it.
He’s being a good family friend, nothing more.
He doesn’t care about me enough to bother mocking me. He only offered me the job because dad asked. And he only asked those questions about my book to be polite.
I’m relieved when the conversation moves on to other topics. Dad and Lukas talk about cars for a while, both of them lightly teasing Jaime about his hunk of junk. I’m able to recede into the background of the conversation, silently watching Lukas, trying not to lose my mind every time he glances at me.
I wish this feeling would stop.
It’s like my body is urging me to give myself to him, to make babies with him.
With an effort, I push the absurd notion away. Or try to.
Chapter Four
Lukas
After dropping Jaime at his place, I find it difficult to focus for the rest of the day.
I drive through the city, gripping the steering wheel so hard I feel like I’m going to snap it clean off. I can’t stop thinking about the way she looked sitting there on the couch, with her legs crossed, making her thighs appear even thicker and more alluring.
It was an effort not to claim her every time my gaze rested on her. It was the way she held herself like she was torn between giving in to her natural sexiness and her shyness.
I imagined her bent over the back of the couch like I do now, Jaime and her dad gone, just me and her…
Her gorgeous round ass on display, the very definition of juicy, makes my mouth water as I slowly step forward and bring my hands to her curves.
Gasping as I slip my finger into her tight little hole…
“No, no.”
I let out a snarl as my mind clouds with thoughts of her.
I tried to carefully probe Jaime about his relationship with Lorena as I drove him home. But Jaime has always been private when it comes to his relationships. It’s not like he has anything to hide, but that he’d rather keep that part of his life separate from anything else.
Without coming right out and asking him, I had no way of knowing if he and Lorena were going to start a relationship again.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I pull the car into a convenience store parking lot, killing the engine and letting my head fall back against the headrest.
It doesn’t matter if Jaime and Lorena are only going to be friends now. It doesn’t change the fact they were together for much of his childhood, or that he would hate me forever if I ever dared to make a move on her.
It would be even worse if I listened to these thoughts inside of me, the ones telling me to claim Lorena for life… that she’s the woman I’ve been looking for.
If I told Jaime that I’m thinking about how perfect his ex-girlfriend’s hips are for childbearing, how her heavy tits were made to swell with milk and give life to our children, how every second I was sitting in her fathers living room I couldn’t stop imagining a future with her…
If I told him any of that, he would disown me.
My son has been through enough, being raised by a single father. I did my best. I hope I gave him all the support he needed.
But it doesn’t change the fact I’m the only family he’s got.
I can’t ruin that. I can’t ruin him.
But I’m not sure I can resist Lorena, either.
I return to my apartment feeling like Lorena is still with me, hovering at the edges of everything I do.
As I walk through the front door, I can’t help but imagine a scenario where she’s waiting for me, standing at the end of the hallway with a warm smile on her face.
The scene plays out in my mind as I walk down the hallway.