He stroked caresses over her hair, feeling like a dick. How could he get her to understand what he did? He’d grown up doing this shit for years. Years. There might be a few better at it than him, but he doubted it. Was he going to be less than brilliant with the woman he loved? He was going to make damn sure she felt as much or more pleasure than he did, especially when she was taking a fucking cane or the lash for him.
“Seychelle, you’re supposed to feel that way for me. Think about what I was doing to your body between every few strikes. I made certain you not only saw and felt what you were doing to me, but I kept you slick, kept you wanting me. I made certain you needed my cock and your body didn’t know the difference between pain and pleasure. That’s what training you to like pain and pleasure together does. It confuses your mind and body.”
Her lashes swept down, and then she looked at him again. He could tell it was very difficult for her to meet his gaze. “I used to watch porn like that, and it was the only thing that would excite me.” Fresh tears flooded her eyes as she made the confession in a small voice.
He could tell she was at her limit with looking at him while she admitted what she considered were her sins. He brushed more kisses over her lips, because she had no idea what true sins were.
“I need to put lotion on those stripes, baby, or you won’t be sitting at dinner tonight. I’m going to put you down on your tummy, but we’re still going to talk about this. Remember, it’s just the two of us. Only the two of us, and we can say anything to each other. I tell you the most outrageous things. And I expect you to tell me your every fantasy. I want to know just what porn films you watched and what turned you on.”
He set her off his lap gently, taking care not to put her down on her bottom. He had plans later to let those marks flare back into life, but not now. Now she needed care and to be surrounded by love. He reached for the lotion he kept beneath the bed.
“Just because you watch a porn flick and it turns you on, doesn’t mean you want that particular fantasy to play out for real. You know that, right?” He was gentle as he rubbed the lotion into his marks on her round cheeks. The stripes had gone from bright red to a deep, beautiful dark red.
“Why would seeing it turn me on though?”
“Did you get off?”
There was a brief hesitation. “No. I bought that stupid toy. I told you, nothing worked until you came along. But I was aroused. Briefly.”
He liked that nothing worked to get her off until he came along. He’d given her a lot of firsts. He was particularly gentle rubbing the lotion along the dark red over her sit spot. That was going to really be something while she rode behind him on the motorcycle. It was several hours with the vibration running up her legs and delivering a jolt of awareness along every nerve ending.
Savage bent his head and pressed kisses to the small of her back. “That should tell you something right there, Seychelle. You like a little bit of pain mixed with pleasure, but it isn’t the same as wanting to please the man you love. I’m taking you on a dark path, and you’re going down it because you know I need it. You’re doing it for me. But you always have to remember we’re a team. We have to be. Spread your legs for me, baby.” The command was low, a velvet rasp. He was going to have to make a confession he’d made before, but she hadn’t really been listening. She needed to hear him. She needed to believe him.
Savage rubbed the lotion on the vicious stripes the cane had put on the undersides of her cheeks. “These welts should make a man who loves a woman feel sick when he sees them on her body. When I see them, I feel a rush that’s unbelievable. It’s all mixed together. Love, unbelievable lust, control, power, dominance, all those things. I get so fucking hard and want to own you. Every single inch of your body. Your heart. Your soul. I want to know you’d sacrifice anything for me. That every tear you shed, you shed gladly for me. That’s a gift you give me, and it’s greater than anything else you could ever hand to me. That’s your love right there on your face. Open and raw. Real. For me.”