He warred with himself, a cold sweat beading on his skin. He released a growl and stalked down the hall, heading to the weight room.
He would not break tonight. But tomorrow held no guarantees.
Eva didn’t know what she’d expected. She was twenty-one, she wasn’t a completely new person. But she’d sort of thought maybe a birthday would bring insight. Far from it, she felt more confused than ever.
Eva rolled over in her big, empty bed and slid out from beneath the covers, padding over to the closet and rummaging around for clothes. She decided on a pair of skinny jeans and a sweater. It wasn’t very birthdayish. Normally, there would be a big party with a bunch of people she didn’t really know or care about and she would wear a gown.
She snorted as she tugged the sweater over her head. This would probably be an improvement. Another day with Mak.
Or maybe not.
She wasn’t entirely certain the moments of unguarded honesty that had taken place between them had been such a great idea, but they had happened. But, something had shifted between them. Something even more profound than the change that had occurred after the kiss.
All that sharing and hand-holding he was so opposed to. And those dark admissions on the terrace. She tried to breathe, but her stomach felt too tight. She shook her head and headed out of her room and down the stairs.
Mak was standing at the base of the staircase. “I was ready to come and check on you,” he said. His tone was so much easier than it had been the night before. The darkness in him held back. For now. It was clear he was going with the ‘ignore’ tactic. Something she found herself comfortable with.
“I am not escaping into the snow, Makhail,” she said, using his full name. “I would freeze.”
“I know, but it’s late enough that I was starting to wonder. And I wasn’t looking forward to dragging you back in this kind of cold.”
“Even still, I have no doubt that you would.”
His lips curved upward. “It seems we understand each other. And after last night, I would not blame you.”
So he wouldn’t pretend it hadn’t happened. She didn’t know whether she felt satisfied by that or not. “I’m undamaged by last night.”
“I said things I shouldn’t have.”
She lowered her eyes, looked at his throat. So much easier than meeting his gaze. “We all do that sometimes.” She certainly had. She’d all but begged him to sleep with her. The really sad part was, she didn’t feel very remorseful about it. She only regretted not getting her way. “What time is it?” She was opting for a subject change. For now.
“Ten-thirty.”
“Wow. I didn’t know it was that late. I guess I was taking my birthday-girl privileges seriously.”
He paused, his dark eyebrows drawn together. “It’s your birthday?”
“Yes. I’m twenty-one. I was waiting for a bolt of wisdom to hit me like a thunderclap. With age come those things, I hear. But I feel the same.” That was a lie. But it wasn’t her birthday that had changed her.
“Happy birthday.” The words seemed rusty, as though he wasn’t used to saying them.
“Thank you.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were having a birthday?”
“I told you when we met that I was nearly twenty-one. I believe you responded with something snarky.”
“That sounds like me.”
“Yes. It does.”
“I would have bought you something.” She shook her head. “I don’t care, Mak.”
“I do. I’ll have Liesel make you a cake.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“You do.”
“I …” Her throat closed up and she couldn’t force another word out. Tears stung her eyes. Mak had a way of doing that. He said all the wrong things sometimes. Jerky, rude things. And then sometimes he said things that were so right … things that no one else had ever said to her.
“You will have a cake, so arguing is pointless. Though you may choose what flavor you would like.”
“Uh … chocolate.”
“Good. And anything else you want … well, I’ll try to arrange it.”
She imagined that if she asked for him, with a big pink bow tied around his trim waist, she would get a big no. “I don’t really need anything.”