“Good,” I whisper, leaning against the pillows in the bed. “There’s something else.”
“What’s that, angel?”
I swallow thickly. I need to do this right. Can’t risk him saying no.
“I need something from you, Xavier,” I admit brokenly, hating myself for succumbing to my wants and needs that take over and precede my common sense. “I need something, anything… I can’t keep going on like this. We’ve lived together for so long now. I need proof of your devotion.”
“Proof?” he barks, glaring at me from the edge of the bed, his shoulders and posture stiff. “Isn’t everything I do proof enough for you, angel? Can’t you tell how much I want you?”
“I…” I swallow my first words and settle for something less needy. “You say it, but you never let me see it. And actions speak louder than words.”
“Angel, we agreed. One day per season.”
“It’s not enough!” I slam my fists onto the mattress, making a pathetic sound that just reminds me of how weak I am. “I need more. I could die, Xavier. These people want to hunt me down and kill me. Maybe you won’t be able to stop them. I could die tomorrow. And then I won’t have… anything… nothing to remember you by. Except…”
I don’t finish my sentence though I’m sure we both know what I’d like to add.
Pain, degradation, humiliation. All those things he’s put me through, making me crave his perverted, twisted mind. A shiver runs down my spine as our eyes meet, dark electricity sparking between us.
“You want something to remember me by, angel,” Xavier says in a low growl. “But you keep fucking forgetting. You’re not going anywhere.”
“Then kiss me,” I whisper. “I need it tonight, after everything that happened. Please, show me you care.”
He looks troubled, massaging his temples as if he’s fighting an inner battle I have no clue about. Finally, his shoulders loosen up and he turns to face me. His eyes are brighter now, watching me like a predator stalking its prey. Suddenly, I fear what he’s going to do. My instincts scream at me to run, but my body stays rooted in place. Xavier picks himself up, coming to the end of the bed and pulling me into his lap.
My heart slams against my chest, threatening to alert Xavier of its needy presence.
“Kiss me,” I whisper again. “Don’t make me beg anymore. Show me you want it, too.”
His mouth crashes against mine. Even though I’ve kissed nobody else, I know it wouldn’t feel like this with anyone but Xavier. He’s stoic in person, but his kiss conveys every emotion I’ve been begging him to show me. The passion between us is intense as he deepens the kiss, making my body twist to get closer to him. I tear at the buttons on his shirt, but he shakes his head, capturing my fists.
“Enough,” he mutters when we come up for air, twisting my hands behind my back. “That should be enough, angel.”
“It’s not,” I manage, pulling him back in to whisper against his parted lips. “It’s not enough. You need to give me more. Don’t you want me?”
He groans, half-heartedly pulling away. I wrap my legs around his body, clinging to him and not letting go.
“Don’t go. Don’t leave me. Take care of me.”
His body stiffens beneath mine.I can tell how hard this is for him but I’m not going to stop. I need him more than I’ve needed everything my whole life. Right now, I’d throw away my life’s purpose for this. To feel him inside me.
“I don’t want to die without being with you,” I whisper in his ear as his grip on my wrists weakens. “I need to know what it’s like, just once…”
“No,” he barks, closing his eyes and looking away from me. “Stop begging, angel. Get off me.”
“No!” I slam my freed fists against his chest. “We’re not done.”
“We’re done when I say we’re done.”
He pushes me off his lap and gets up, walking away from me with a stormy expression. I can tell he’s pissed, but that doesn’t discourage me.
I pick myself up and start tearing at my dress, which is now stained with paint and blood. I rip it off, throwing it at him. I’m wearing nothing underneath.
“Fine,” I hiss. “Then you have to look at me.”
His gaze darkens as I sprawl back on the bed, legs open obscenely.
“You can’t stop me from doing this, Xavier, can you?” I purr. “You can’t stop me from touching my pussy…”
“It’s mine,” he growls, then curses, as if his tongue got the best of him.
“Not if you don’t take it,” I whisper. “And I can do anything I want until you don’t.”
I massage my clit the way I’ve taught myself to do before. Moans escape my lips and I throw my head back, my hair fanning on the pillow. Slowly, I allow my fingers to slip as far inside me as they can.