I swallow thickly, unable to form a response. That he wants to help me escape is part of it, but his confession is making my head spin. And I know it’s because I don’t feel the same for him.
I feel that way for someone else.
Someone I should hate.
As Antonio walks back to the dresser and assumes his regular position, I close my eyes and burrow under the duvet. Even through the thick fabric, I can still feel him staring at me.
My mind is racing as I consider what he just told me.
I’ve just been given a golden ticket out of here.
I shake my head to get the thought out. I’m here because I have a duty, a responsibility. This is my purpose. My job here isn’t done.
But I could run away with it all. I could start a life away from it all. Away from the cartel and the cruelty I witnessed tonight.
I’d lose my family, and I’d lose Xavier. But at least it wouldn’t cost anyone their life. Anyone but Antonio.
If we get caught, Xavier will kill him.
If he finds out about Antonio’s confession, Xavier will kill him.
I close my eyes tightly, wishing I could go back to being the innocent girl I was when I first got the Casa.
But deep down, I know that’s not possible.
Somehow, I flit off into a sleep filled with dark nightmares.
Bernardo haunts me in them, reminding me you don’t have to pull a trigger to be a murderer. Monsters chase me in the night until I finally feel a familiar touch on my cheek, and it stirs me from my sleep.
“Xavier?” I whisper, my eyes focusing on his in the darkness of the late hour. “You didn’t forget?”
“Of course not, angel.” He picks me up from the bed and I cling to him as he carries me to the playroom we’ve been in before.
As the door closes and he locks us inside, it makes me wonder if I’m still dreaming. I wonder if he’s going to hurt me. I wonder if pleasure or pain would be worse.
“Did you dream of me?” he asks as he approaches me, shrugging off his white button-up.
“Y-Yes,” I manage, unable to tell him he was one monster chasing me during my nightmares. “Are you going to hurt me?”
“Not tonight,” he promises darkly. “I’m going to spoil you tonight. Would you like that, Tallulah?”
“Yes,” I repeat, nodding eagerly at the sound of his words.
“You want to feel good?”
I flush, nodding again.
“Say it for me, then.”
“I want to feel good,” I mutter, flushing.
“Then lie back.” I do as I’m told, making myself comfortable on the silk sheets. “Lift your legs, hold them under the knees. I want to check something.”
I do as I’m told again, and he kneels before me. I close my eyes as he touches his fingertips to my panties, my mind spinning so hard it makes me dizzy.
He rips off the thong with a deft flick of his fingers, making me yelp out loud.
“What are you doing?” I demand.
“I told you, I want to check something.”
My fear grows as he lowers my legs, making me straddle a pillow on my side.
“Xavier, I’m scared.”
“It won’t hurt. But I have to touch you a little.”
My skin prickles at the thought.
“It might kill me,” I whisper.
“What a sweet death it will be,” he mutters, pressing his fingers to my pussy and pushing inside.
Chapter 15
XAVIER
I feel around her tight little cunt until I find it. Her hymen stretches over the entrance to her pussy. I retract my fingers and fight the urge to taste her off them.
“Why d-did you do that?” I whisper.
“Well, I didn’t forget your little threats,” I smirk at her. “So unless you stop thinking about that, we’ll do this every day. Every hour, if we have to.”
“No,” she shakes her head vehemently. “Don’t make me do that, please don’t. Anything but this. It’s so humiliating.”
“Anything?” I repeat devilishly. “Say it again. Tell me you’ll do anything.”
“Anything,” she repeats shakily. “Please, Xavier.”
“Alright. Sleep tight, Tallulah.”
“No, wait!” She grabs the sleeve of my shirt I’ve put on again. “Don’t go. What about tonight?”
“It’s midnight,” I tell her gently.
“But you said we’d... Please, I-“
“Don’t talk back. In a few short months, you’ll have me as much as you want. But I’m not breaking any more rules before then, Tallulah. It’s wrong.”
“You could’ve just honored our deal!” she cries out, looking adorably frustrated. “Please, this is unfair!”
“I was tied up in work.”
“You don’t care about the deals you make at all,” she hisses. “My parents... you stole me too soon. And now you’ve gone back on our deal, too.”
“Don’t make a deal with the devil next time, angel,” I respond with a light shrug. “At least now you know who’s really in charge here. Tallulah. I expect perfect behavior until your birthday? Do you fucking understand me?”