Wow, could that be any more uncomfortable? Already I feel Del scooting away from me, already he’s pulling her with this invisible thread, and he’s supposed to be doing nothing but protecting her.
Angry, I pull her against my side. “Fine. Sounds like fun.”
You know, if you like torture on the side with seventeen root canals and a swift kick to the nuts, then sure, perfect. We get in the elevator, and it’s so tense I want to fight.
“Just doing our jobs,” Roman says softly, his expression unreadable.
I step out of the elevator with a speechless Del and lower my hand from her back to her ass, then squeeze. “Good. And I know how to do mine.”
Del shoves me away, a look of hurt crossing her face before she stomps toward the restaurant. “If you guys are done comparing your dicks, I’d like to eat.”
“I like sausage!” Tiffany charges after Del, and honestly, she may be annoying as hell, but she’s good at her job, one of the De Lange recruits from Eagle Elite who wants nothing more than to prove her family is worthy of being part of the Five Families again.
She’s also gorgeous but not my type at all—I would say she’s too prickly. Then again, Del was currently at the breakfast buffet, stabbing sausages and making an obscene amount of eye contact in my direction.
“That’s definitely your dick,” Roman says.
“Bullshit, mine’s bigger. She’s stabbing yours.”
“Whatever you say, boss.”
“Stop calling me boss. I’m not a boss yet,” I grumble.
“Yeah,” he says under his breath. “You are. You just refuse to accept it until they give you the kingdom.”
“Was that a pep talk?”
“Oh, not at all.” He grins. “I’ll stay here at the entrance and make sure you guys are safe.”
“With my luck, you’re the one planning an all-out assault on me.”
He’s quiet; his eyes flicker down then back up at mine. “I may hate this situation, but I would never hurt you.”
I hate that he’s right and look away, ashamed I even thought of it. “I know, man, I know.”
“Go eat your fucking sausage.”
“You eat your sausage,” I fire back like I’ve never been in any verbal spars like ever in the history of the world.
He just laughs and shakes his head while I grumble to myself the entire way to my seat only to see Del cutting every single sausage she has into bits and explaining to Tiffany in graphic detail the size of my cock.
“…and then I was like oh man, it’s so big, is it going to fit?”
“Tell me everything.” Tiffany sits down. “Spare no detail.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be on patrol?”
Tiffany holds out her hand then slams it down on the table causing the silverware to fall off the table. “Some things are more important than life or death!”
“Yeah,” Del agrees with a grin. “Like teeny,” another slice through the sausage “pieces of dick,” one more cut down the middle, ouch, “that get cut off,” two more slices, “because they’re being,” cut, cut, cut, “a giant,” cut, “dick!”
I wince when the last piece falls to the ground, only to nearly laugh when Tiffany leans over and whispers, “You gonna eat that?”
“I would never eat that.” Del glares.
I lean over the table. “Pretty sure your tongue is still sore from all the sucking it did last night, princess.”
Tiffany leans in. “You sucked but didn’t lick?”
“Can we not?” Del interrupts and starts drinking her orange juice. “I’m tired, and this is… stressful.”
“I’m not stressed at all.” Tiffany grins, leaning back in her chair, arms going behind her head like she’s at a spa and the most relaxed she’s ever been. “I’m quite entertained. You guys should write a book one day and definitely put a sausage on the front of it.”
“Done.” Del takes another bite, and I can’t get the image of us from last night rubbed—hah—rubbed from my brain. It’s like she’s all I can see and feel, and now we have a stupid audience of one annoying person and another that I want to push off a cliff but can’t because he’s only doing the stupid job I gave him.
“Tiffany…” I grunt out her name. “I’m going to sit next to my wife, so if you don’t mind, could you please check the permitter again?”
She scoots her chair back and tosses down her napkin. “More hostile in here than out there, but sure thing, boss.”
I wince. “I really wish people would stop calling me that.”
“What?” Tiffany actually grabs a piece of sausage from Del’s plate and pops it in her mouth. “It’s true; we’re just your minions, though I really appreciate the healthcare and 401K.”
“Go.” I point toward the door.
She just winks and waltzes off.
I’m suddenly exhausted as I stare after her and then see Roman again. How did my life get this complicated? “You’re not really going to chop my dick into tiny pieces, are you?”