“Callie- I don’t know what’s going on with you, but- I- I can help you.”
She stared at him, as though debating with herself. Her eyes searched his face and he never broke contact. Hers were red-rimmed already, but the irises were even bluer than usual. Something in her changed. Her shoulders fell and her body seemed to cave in on itself. He sensed it and when he stepped forward again, she didn’t edge away.
His hand fell to her hip, so gently, her small body covered in his clothing. All he meant to do was offer a comforting touch. Just pull her into a hard hug that wasn’t exactly appropriate, but he knew she needed it and he was the only one there.
When he touched her though, felt the warmth of her body burning him through those sweats, he couldn’t move. He couldn’t do it. He knew if he got closer, he might lose control and that was the last damn thing she needed.
She hesitated, eyes as wide as saucers, but she was the one who made the first move. She swung around, wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body into his. She pulled his head down to hers and raised her face. Her lips parted, those sweet, soft lips that he couldn’t stop thinking about, dreaming about.
“Callie,” he breathed. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.” Her breath was hot against his mouth.
What was left of his control, what little he had to begin with, snapped completely.
CHAPTER 11
Callie
She wasn’t sure when the date went so off track. At what point did Chantara’s words from earlier that week really sink in? At what point did she feel so totally alone? Was it during the sledding? Racing down the hill after Matt, laughing and screaming, realizing that it was indeed possible to actually have fun again. To allow herself to live a little.
Was it the clothing he gave her? The soft t-shirt and the warm sweats, the way he set them out before she even got to his house? Was it the glimpse of his rock-hard abs and bronzed skin as he pulled his own shirt on when he answered the door? Or was it that someone was taking the time to make her dinner? To care about her like she was an actual person with thoughts and feelings and dreams? Matt looked so tenderly at her like he actually cared. She’d said something stupid, about her past, and it spiraled out of control from there.
She hadn’t meant to cry. It was the last thing she wanted to do. It was just that- the tears had been so long in coming. Callie felt like she’d been holding them back for years.
She knew she had to get out of there, but then Matt rose, and he looked at her and in his eyes, she saw- god, she didn’t know what she saw. Pain. For her. Sincerity. Care. Compassion. He cared about her. She wasn’t just another notch in his belt or a trophy for his wall. He looked at her like she truly mattered. In a world where she’d grown used to feeling invisible and unwanted, ashamed of who she was and alone for the most part, having one other person there made all the difference.
Matt pulled her into him, and she went, tangling her arms around his neck. He asked her if she was sure, with all the sincerity in the world. She knew that he’d let her go if she wanted him to.
She could have gone. It would have been the right decision for so many reasons. But she didn’t. She looked into Matt’s eyes and said the word.
Yes.
Yes, she wanted to stay. Yes, she was going to regret what they were about to do, because she made no mistake about the fire in his eyes. Yes, she was going to make sure that after she opened herself up she was protected again. She was just so tired, so very damn tired, of being lonely. She craved that connection with another person. If she was honest, she’d never really had it with Ben. It had been years, years since she felt truly alive.
Matt was her boss, but it didn’t matter. She wasn’t going to see him again after. She’d quit her job and that would be that. She’d give herself this experience, not a night, just the sex, the connection, the… whatever was going to happen. It wasn’t about intimacy and it sure as hell wasn’t about love. It was because that one kiss would never be enough for either of them. She knew what it meant to give in to something she truly wanted. That it was just a mistake, that it hurt, in the end. But this, this wouldn’t be a mistake. She’d be careful. She wouldn’t let herself get hurt again.