Ecstasy (Notorious 4) - Page 111
“Try again,” he urged.
Stifling a sob, she pulled again, struggling with all her might. Her effort was more successful this time; he moved nearly half a foot.
With another desperate prayer, she threw every ounce of her strength into the task. Her progress seemed infinitely slow, but with her arms aching, her lungs straining, she managed inch by inch to draw Kell back from the treacherous edge and onto more solid ice.
An eternity later she felt grasping hands lifting them the final way to safety. The servants, Raven realized, exhaustion sapping the last of her will.
Kell had no more strength than she did. When he reached the bank, he collapsed to his knees, unable to go farther.
With a superhuman effort, Raven shrugged off the supporting hands and staggered to his side. Sinking in front of him, she clung to his neck as tightly as her bound hands would allow, the tears slipping down her face and turning to ice.
His arms came around her, and he held her without speaking, his face buried in her hair, his shoulders shaking.
He was weeping as well, she knew. Weeping for the brother he had been unable to save.
Chapter Twenty-one
Raven paused at the library door, trying to summon the courage to enter. She’d seen nothing of Kell during the past two hours, and her disquiet only increased with each moment he avoided her.
He stood at the French windows now, his back to her, and stared out at the icy landscape. He’d changed his attire, and his impeccable chocolate coat and buff breeches gave no indication he had just fought a battle to the death.
Her own physical circumstances had improved as well. The servants had found her clothing that, while simple, was warm and dry. And her raw wrists had been bandaged. Yet no salve could ease the pain in her heart.
She felt drained, aching, filled with sorrow. Not for Sean, but for Kell. She found it hard to mourn Sean’s death overmuch after his heinous acts. But she grieved for Kell.
He looked so remote, so unapproachable, so achingly alone.
As she watched him, Raven felt her eyes blur with tears. She had been so blind. She loved Kell.
It had stunned her to realize the truth. Shaken her to think he could have died without ever knowing how deeply she cared. Yet she couldn’t tell him now. Kell wouldn’t want to hear of her feelings, not when he was so devastated by his brother’s death.
She might never be able to tell him and discover if he could possibly ever love her in return. Would Sean’s death forever shadow their lives? His vengeful brother might have destroyed any hope of love between them.
As if sensing her presence, Kell glanced over his shoulder, surveying her bruised cheek, the abraded skin at her throat, her bandaged wrists. A shadow passed over his eyes. “Are you all right?”
“Yes,” she lied, wanting to reassure him.
“I regret that I let him hurt you,” he said, his voice low and raw.
I regret more that he hurt you, Raven thought. “Bruises heal, Kell. And you could not have known what he would do.”
Kell locked his jaw, his expression one of sheer pain. “I promised to protect you. I promised to protect him.”
She felt the despair in him, saw it in the bleakness of his eyes, before he turned back to the window.
Raven took a step toward him. She wanted desperately to hold him, to console him, but she wasn’t sure where to begin.
“You tried your best, Kell,” she said at last. “Sean didn’t want to be saved. He…he wanted an end to his torment.”
Kell made no response, but his silence was rife with anguish.
She moistened her dry lips. “You can’t hold yourself to blame. You couldn’t be expected to sacrifice your life for your brother’s.”
“No?” he asked softly. He bowed his head.
Tears stinging her eyes, Raven looked down at her clasped hands. Her heart was breaking for him. His pain, his absolute aloneness, made her ache inside. His grief was a gaping, bleeding wound, one she couldn’t heal.
Unbidden, she felt a fierce surge of renewed anger at William Lasseter. He had ravaged Kell’s life almost as savagely as he had shattered Sean’s.
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