She gave him an arch look. Since yesterday she had devoted nearly all her attention to the viscount, for two reasons. First, flirting with him helped her counter the threat of Dare's determined seduction. And second, she hoped to discover something about Riddingham that could be useful in Dare's investigation. If Dare were to unmask the traitor, she theorized, then he might abandon his pursuit of her, and she could have him out of her life for good.
"I am merely staying in character," she claimed, not wholly truthfully. "I promised you I would maintain our charade, remember?"
"So you did." His mouth curled, while his tone was mockingly congenial. "I'm gratified at least that you didn't go running to Riddingham to warn him of my suspicions."
She felt herself stiffen. "Did you truly think I would?"
"Let's say I wasn't certain I could trust you, any more than you feel you can trust me. But you are doing an admirable job of rousing his lust."
"You cannot possibly be jealous," Julienne returned with sugary sweetness.
The dark flare that suddenly kindled in Dare's eyes told her she had struck a nerve with her accusation. "A primitive male instinct, jealousy. One I will endeavor to contain for the sake of duty. I want very much for you to encourage Riddingham's infatuation. He is more prone to share his secrets with you if he's enamored of you."
"Presuming he has secrets to share."
"You are in an excellent position to discover that. He's eager to become your cicisbeo, and you could easily oblige him."
Julienne gave Dare a sharp glance. "And just what do you mean by that? You aren't suggesting I take him as my paramour?"
"The thought had occurred to me."
She nearly stumbled as she stared up at Dare. "You want me to whore for you?"
"Why not?" His eyebrow rose cynically, although there was an intentness in his probing gaze that was far from sanguine. "It shouldn't offend your sensibilities. After all, you have extensive experience seducing unsuspecting gentlemen."
Struggling to hide her hurt, Julienne regarded Dare without expression. "I believe I've told you before, I will choose whom I take to my bed, not you or anyone else."
A wintery smile touched his lips. "I'm prepared to make it financially worth your while. You could be a wealthy woman if you p
lay your cards wisely."
Pain sliced through Julienne like a knife blade, making her breath hiss through her teeth. For a moment she couldn't even speak.
But then she summoned her finest acting skills and offered Dare a reckless smile. "Perhaps I will indeed take Riddingham as my paramour. I have no doubt he will make a considerate lover… unlike some other gentlemen I could choose."
She saw the sharp glitter of emotion that flickered in Dare's eyes-pain? anger?-and knew she had scored a hit.
Ignoring his searing look, she pursed her lips thoughtfully. "On second thought, I don't believe I will. If I were to take Riddingham for my lover, he would doubtless expect me to abandon my wager with you, and I have no intention of losing to you. Lord Wolverton."
Julienne left Dare then and surged ahead on the path, vehemently determined to conceal her own pain and anger. She managed it temporarily, but by the time she caught up with Solange, she was nearly blind with hurt. She could scarcely believe how violently she was trembling.
She shook her head at her friend's questioning glance and struggled for the appearance of composure, yet it required all her talent to pretend that Dare's suggestion hadn't wounded her to the core.
He thought her a whore. And the worst part was, she couldn't refute him.
Julienne shivered, feeling a sudden chill that went bone-deep.
She was glad when the afternoon at last ended and she could take refuge in her bedchamber. Collapsing on the bed, she buried her face in a pillow and gave vent to her anguished thoughts.
She had been a whore for a time. Shortly after her life had been rocked by scandal and she'd taken up acting to survive, her mother's illness had grown hopelessly severe. To provide for Maman's care, Julienne had had no choice but to augment her meager income by becoming the mistress of a wealthy lord.
The first time she gave her body for money, she'd wept agonizing tears. But afterward, she stoically shut off her emotions, determined to endure. It had helped that her protector was a kind, elderly, gentleman whose compassion and consideration won her respect and genuine affection. Yet there had been times during those difficult years when living hurt so badly she'd wanted to die.
Remembering, Julienne felt an aching rush in her chest, as if her heart were bleeding. She had forced herself to go on because her mother needed her. In sheer self-preservation, though, she had escaped into a role she had created for herself-a worldly, sophisticated actress who bore misfortune by laughing in the teeth of fate. And in so doing, she'd discovered reserves of strength she never knew she possessed.
After her mother died, she was thankfully no longer forced to sell herself to raise desperately needed funds. Yet sometimes she couldn't help feeling bitterness for having been condemned to a harsh life with little chance for a respectable future.
Fighting back scalding tears, Julienne rolled over to stare up at the ceiling overhead. She might likely never have the things many women took for granted- husband, home, children… love. Certainly she would never feel for anyone else the same ardor she had felt for Dare. The desire she still felt for him.