“Force myself on you?” He smiled coldly. “I told you not to worry, princess. I’m not gonna ravish your pure white body.”
Summer glanced again around the secluded clearing. They were all alone, out in the middle of nowhere. There was no one to prevent Lance from doing anything he wanted to her. He could throw her down on the ground and take her if he wanted to. Legally, he even had the right.
He must have read her thoughts, for his mouth twisted. “I’m not the unprincipled
brute you think I am.”
“I…I don’t.”
“Sure you do.”
No, Summer reflected in confusion. At times she thought Lance boorish, ill bred, bad-tempered, and uncivil, but she knew he had principles of a sort, even if they didn’t always match hers. And while he might have a belligerent disposition, she didn’t think he would deliberately hurt her.
“You can rest easy, princess,” Lance said, watching her. “I’m not even going to try to bed you.”
His grim declaration surprised her so much that she blurted out her reply without thinking. “Why not?”
He met her gaze with a hard one of his own. “You mean why won’t I claim my lawful rights, even though you’re my wife?”
She hadn’t meant to start this indelicate conversation, but now that she had, she wanted an answer, to know what Lance expected of her, of their marriage. “Yes. Why haven’t you…” She flushed and fell silent.
Because I can’t bear seeing the fear in your eyes when I touch you. Because if I touch you, I’ll lose control, Lance said viciously to himself. I get too close, and my pride will shatter He looked away. Losing control was something he wouldn’t permit himself to do; relinquishing his pride was something he couldn’t allow. Pride was the only defense he had against his magnolia-skinned, honey-voiced wife. Summer might turn him inside out, but wild horses couldn’t make him admit it to her.
Lance clenched his teeth, renewing his determination not to feel the things she made him feel, to want the things she made him want.
But there were other reasons, too. Reasons that went beyond lust or pride.
“I don’t want to make it any worse for you,” he answered finally. “You’re having a hard enough time as it is.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m an outcast. I’ve branded you the same.”
She couldn’t dispute that. The whites she’d come in contact with since her marriage had shown her nothing but contempt.
“Besides,” he said, his voice dropping, “I don’t want to leave you breeding. If something happened to me, you’d have to raise my kid alone, and I’m not going to do that to some poor little devil.”
Involuntarily Summer moved a hand to her abdomen. She hadn’t let herself think about having Lance’s baby. Hadn’t let herself think about the consequences of bringing a mixed-blood child into the world. She didn’t want to think about such a thing.
Lance saw the dismay on her face, the faint look of horror, and smiled bitterly. “Yeah, I thought that’s how you’d feel.”
She didn’t try to deny it. She couldn’t. “I hadn’t thought much about it,” she said lamely. But perhaps she should think about it. “Lance? On our wedding night…what you did to me…Did that make me pregnant?”
He wanted to curse…at the same time he wanted to reassure her. “After the way you left me hurting? There’s no way, princess. Not when you’re still a virgin.” His eyes seared her. “Surely with all your experience with men, you know that. Don’t tell me you’re that ignorant.”
“Well, I am.” Her chin lifted. “A lady isn’t raised with knowledge of such things.”
“No, I don’t expect so.” Lance looked off in the distance. “There are ways around a woman getting pregnant.”
Surprise widened Summer’s eyes, while acute embarrassment flushed her cheeks. “How?”
“Just…ways. A proper wife would know about them.”
His emphasis on the word proper annoyed her. “I hardly think the usual standards apply in this instance. Our marriage isn’t exactly…This isn’t the sort of marriage I expected.”
His huff of laughter was loud in the growing dusk. “I don’t suppose it is. I’ll bet it’s one hell of a shock for you, princess. No lady would want an uncivilized breed for a husband, and you’re more finicky than most.”
“I am not.”