Maybe she had earned it, but her father took all the money. He’d certainly never helped her when Ava was born. She’d been on her own, and work was so damn hard. No one wanted to hire a woman with no skill set. Then if they found out about her fighting, they believed she was nothing more than a troublemaker. No matter which way she tried to fight her past, she couldn’t win. There was no getting away from it. She’d tried so hard.
The only way out now was to take her father down.
She moved her foot out so that it was flat against the wall. As she did so, the friction reminded her of exactly what she was doing last night and how much she’d enjoyed it. Drago was all man, and not only that, his sweet words unraveled her. She couldn’t fight him, not when he was being the sweet, charming man that she’d avoided.
When he spoke to her like a gentleman, whispering sweet nothings in her ear, she was able to forget that he was a cold-blooded killer—like her.
Staring out across the city, she wondered if it would be better to put Ava up for adoption. Her life, it wasn’t about fairy tales or princesses. Ava deserved a mother who didn’t have a checkered past.
No matter which way she thought about it, unless her father died and her connection to the underground fighting ring was severed, she would always be looking over her shoulder. Her little girl would never be able to have a normal life. A life where she could go out and play in a field or be with friends. Belle would be constantly terrified that someone would come and take her, and she’d have to fight to win her back.
Was she a bad mother for trying to keep her? For loving her?
Staring down into the dark brown liquid, she couldn’t help but feel selfish. She loved her daughter so much. Ava had been the only good thing in her life. There were many nights when she’d sit by her daughter’s bed, and just watch her. It amazed her that an act that had been somewhat tedious with Mikey had created something so precious.
Yet, last night, Drago had shown her what making love was all about. It wasn’t just the action that got off a man. She’d enjoyed every second of his touch and his body. Just remembering what his cock felt like inside her, made her ache all over again.
Still, she couldn’t help but think that maybe her daughter was better off. This morning, she’d woken up, and her first thought had been to go and check on Ava. To make sure her baby had a good night’s sleep.
Ava’s wasn’t there.
If she finally gave Ava up, her daughter would be safe, and Belle wouldn’t be scared like she was now, fearing that someone could take her. Tears filled her eyes, and she hated them. Another sign of weakness. She’d been taught all of her life not to show any kind of weakness.
Thinking about her father, what he’d done to her, to her daughter, filled her with a new kind of rage. She felt sick to her stomach with it. Taking a deep breath, she tried to relax, count down from ten and back up again, but it didn’t help.
It was her only coping mechanism.
Whenever her father told her to go and fight, she did. She’d been so desperate for her father’s affection that she’d done everything he wanted and then some.
“You okay, babe?” Drago asked, startling her.
She turned her head to see him wearing absolutely nothing, his cock hanging down as he rubbed the back of his head. The man wasn’t shy, not that he had anything to be ashamed of.
“Don’t you want to put some clothes on?”
“No, I’m good.”
He moved to sit beside her, lifting her feet and putting them across his lap. His hard, muscular body was a distraction she really didn’t want. She had to think of her little girl, not this man. It was so hard to do, and part of her wanted to indulge again.
“You don’t look happy.” He took the coffee from her and had a sip. He wrinkled his nose. “This is not good. Not even a little bit.”
She chuckled. “It was the best I could do. I was a little distracted.”
“Oh yeah, that distraction have anything to do with me?”
“A little bit.”
“Ava?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Come on then, tell me what you’ve been thinking.” He sipped at her coffee again even though it tasted really bad.
“I don’t know if it’s something I should say. You may not like it.”
“A problem shared is a problem halved. Besides, you’re not going anywhere. I’ve got you at my mercy.”
“I was thinking about Ava. How much I love her and then I was considering doing the right thing for her.”