It was Lily’s turn to sigh. “I know. It isn’t fair that gentlemen are allowed to have as many lovers as they wish, but ladies can be ruined by a mere hint of indiscretion.”

“Indeed,” Tess agreed. “But that is the way of

the world.”

“Still,” Lily mused aloud, “if I thought I could keep an affair secret and avoid scandal, I wouldn’t hesitate. If I never plan to marry, it matters little if I lose my innocence.”

“I suppose not.”

“And an affair with Claybourne wouldn’t last long-I would make certain of it. I won’t risk becoming so enamored of him that I wouldn’t want to end it.”

“Would it be so terrible if you fell in love with him?”

“Yes,” Lily replied emphatically. She never wanted to feel the misery and pain that came with loving someone. Never wanted to be enslaved by her love for a man. For too many years she had witnessed her mother’s anguish. Her mother had loved her father at the beginning of their marriage, and look where that had lead.

Lily shook her head firmly. Her greatest regret was that she couldn’t save her mother from such misery. But she could save herself. All she had to do was to keep her emotional defenses strong.

Admittedly, she had come to respect Heath a good deal in the short time she had known him. And she was supremely grateful to him for aiding her friends even when she’d been so reluctant to accept his help. But she would not let respect and gratitude affect her heart.

Indeed, an affair with Heath needn’t be anything more than the pursuit of physical pleasure. She could satisfy her burning curiosity about passion. Furthermore, making love to Heath would hopefully put an end to the frustrated cravings that had plagued her so relentlessly of late. It might also serve to keep him from seeking comfort in the arms of another woman.

Most importantly, if she offered to become his paramour, he might give up the notion of matrimony for good. At least if she took so drastic a step, Heath would see how adamantly determined she was to refuse his marriage proposal, even if he did win their game and the right to publicly court her.

The thought was interrupted when Tess spoke. “Sometimes it is wiser to follow your heart, not your head, Lily.”

“Not in this instance.”

“Well, then…if you want Claybourne for your lover, I think you should act now. If there is one thing I have learned, it is that life is too short, and you are foolish to sit passively on the sidelines while it passes you by.”

Again Lily nodded, in full agreement with her friend. It was time to take her fate into her own hands. She had been fighting her desire for days now, and she wanted to end it.

Despite her decision, however, she lacked the experience to set an affair with Heath in motion. Lily’s mouth curved as she laughed inwardly at herself.

“The thing is, Tess…I wouldn’t know how to begin. I cannot ask Fanny for advice, for she will only tell me that I should wed Lord Claybourne. I don’t even know how I can manage to be alone with him.”

“That shouldn’t present a problem,” Tess replied. “You may use my rooms at the Darnley Hotel. It is very quiet and discreet, and you can wear a veil and pretend to be a widow.”

Tess stayed at the Darnley whenever she had to remain in London overnight, Lily knew.

“So the next question is when,” Tess added thoughtfully.

Lily pursed her lips, realizing that time was running out. Their game would be over in three more days, but she didn’t want to wait until then. Yet how would she contrive an opportunity to see Heath if he was set on avoiding her? He was certain to be at Marcus’s London home Monday evening for the dinner in honor of the bridal couple, however…

“I expect he will attend Marcus’s dinner. You are coming, aren’t you, Tess?”

“Yes, I wouldn’t miss it.”

“I plan to remain there afterward and spend the night,” Lily added, “so my sisters and I will have some time together before Roslyn marries.”

“Then it must be before Monday. Perhaps tonight.”

The thought that she might be with Heath tonight sent a shocking little thrill through Lily. “But how do I persuade him to meet me at the hotel?”

“We will think of something,” Tess said confidently. “And of course you will have to take precautions against pregnancy. There are methods… One of your friends here should be able to advise you.”

Lily’s brow furrowed. She hadn’t thought that far ahead, although now that she did, Peg seemed the logical choice to counsel her about such intimate details. Even so…“How do you know about such things, Tess?”

Faint color warmed her cheeks at the question. “I have had this same discussion with Fanny, in the event I decided to take a lover myself.”

Tags: Nicole Jordan Courtship Wars Historical
Source: readsnovelonline.net