She felt the tears sting her eyes, and she quickly stood up.
“Alana, breakfast is ready,” Jaxon told her.
She looked up at him, locked gazes with his blue eyes, and knew that he could tell she was upset.
“Alana?”
She turned away. “I’ll be right back. I just need to use the bathroom.” She hurried out of there and could hear the scraping of a chair then footsteps. She quickly entered the bathroom and closed the door. She locked it and a moment later, as the tears rolled down her cheeks and an anxiety attack began, she heard the knock.
She gasped.
“Alana, are you okay?” Jaxon asked.
She tried to speak, but her mind kept whirling over the possibilities of how terrible this whole ménage relationship could end.
“Answer me, Alana, or I’ll break down the door.”
“Fine. Need a minute,” she barked out and then turned to look at herself in the mirror as she gripped the sink and counter.
Her face was pale, her eyes filled with tears as worry filled her heart.
Where had all her self-confidence gone? When had she decided to overanalyze the situation and freak out? And she was definitely freaking out. Jaxon, Geno, Jeb, Gator, and Gabe were five very large, capable men. In that large kitchen with four of them, she’d felt exposed, outnumbered, vulnerable… and that was it. She was feeling vulnerable.
All this time, over the years, she trained herself to be so self-sufficient and to not take any orders or direction from anyone but herself. She had to live her life. She had to make the mistakes, and she’d had to survive on her own after losing her parents and losing Gabe. By giving into this attraction, this sexual need and pull to these five men, was she giving up that freedom to choose, to live her life, and to do as she wanted?
Were they instantly going to make demands on her? She loved the way they made love to her. She wouldn’t mind those sexual demands, but what about the other stuff?
“Alana, open up. We’re worried,” Jeb said.
“I’m fine, Jeb. Just give me a minute. I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”
“No, you’ll open the door right now,” Jaxon demanded.
She felt her heart race. He was fierce and demanding. It concerned her but aroused her more.
She wiped her eyes and took and an unsteady breath. She could do this. She could have breakfast with them, maybe make love to them again, and then head home to her cottage and continue her normal routine.
Her small, lonely cottage, where she was going to sleep alone and dream of them and wish they were with her. But she couldn’t do that. She had to maintain her control, her independence, and, of course, her sanity.
With that last bit of pep talk, she unlocked the door, and Jaxon stood there, arms crossed, with an angry expression, and she did what anyone would do in such a situation. She tried walking right by him.
His hand touched hers, and she froze in place.
Alana gulped and then tilted her head way up to give him a soft smile.
It didn’t work. He held her gaze with a firm expression that was all Jaxon.
God, he’s so sexy. I love this man.
Her eyes widened at her own thoughts. It was instant. She fell in love with him in one night of lovemaking. She was in love with all of them. How stupid could she be? This was how she’d lost control and fallen into a pool of depression when Gabe left her.
“Alana, I don’t know what’s going through your pretty little head right now, but I suggest we discuss it.”
Jaxon. Damn controlling leader of his entire team and now her too? She couldn’t allow this. She couldn’t succumb to his sexual appeal, masculinity, and authoritative demeanor and crumble into a weak love-str
uck dope.
She pulled her hand from his. It was best to not confront him or cause an argument she would surely lose. She smiled softly.