I think the thing that bothered me the most was that she didn’t tell me what was going on. What the hell was going on?
I snapped my attention up when I heard approaching wheels. Eric’s Range Rover came into sight, and my heart went into triple speed. Half of me was eager to see her so I could wrap my arms around her, but the other half was ready to demand answers.
They stayed in his car for a second too long, both of their eyes on me. I cocked an eyebrow, and that gave Hayley the notion to finally open her door and step out. Her head was hung low, her dark hair hanging in front of her face. As soon as she was in front of me, Eric hanging back by his Range Rover (probably because he knew I’d lay him flat on his ass), she tilted those blue eyes up to me, and I almost forgot I was angry.
She looked tired. Sad. A little detached.
“I’m sorry,” was all she said.
I stood unmoving, my shoes planted to the ground, and stared at her. “Where were you?”
She nibbled on her bottom lip, and I ached to remove it from beneath her teeth. “I went to see my mom.”
My chest grew tight. “You…what? Why the fuck would you ever go see her?”
Hayley sighed as she avoided my eye. She looked out past the school into the wooded area. “I needed some more answers. I wanted to know what the settlement was and what it had to do with me.”
I scoffed, feeling myself grow even angrier. “And you thought to ask your crackhead of a mother? Come on, Hayley. You’re smarter than that.” I pushed off from my car and ran my hands through the short strands of my hair.
“Bro, go easy on her.”
My eyes lasered onto Eric. I was seconds from plummeting my best friend to the black asphalt. “And you! What the hell were you thinking? You didn’t think to fucking tell me that my girlfriend was going to a trashy trailer park to talk to her doped-up mother?” I shook my head, seething. “Instead of telling me, you fucking take her yourself?”
“Christian, calm down!” Hayley shouted as I started to meet Eric halfway. Eric was my best friend, but I wanted to plow him to the ground. I was pissed. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever been so angry.
“Why?” I turned around and glared at her. “Why did you ask Eric? And not me?”
“Well, I think you freaking out like this is a good enough reason as to why I didn’t ask you.”
“So, what? You don’t trust me?”
The planes of her face softened. “Of course I do.”
“Then fucking why?” I didn’t shout at her, but the tone of my voice portrayed just how upset I was. Not only was I bothered that she had Eric take her to the trailer park in Pike Valley, but I was also hurt beyond belief that she didn’t think to even tell me.
“Because she knew you’d fucking flip out if you saw where she had lived. She was afraid you’d lose your temper and her mom wouldn’t be willing to give forth any information.”
I turned away from Eric and faced Hayley again. “That’s bullshit. If it was important, I would have kept my mouth shut. I did the first time she came around, didn’t I? Do you not trust me? Because if you don’t trust me, I don’t even know why we’re standing here right now.”
Hayley rushed over to me and wrapped her arms around my middle. I stood much taller than her, but I didn’t dare look down. Instead, I turned my head and clenched my jaw.
Why doesn’t she trust me?
“I do trust you. I trust you with my entire life. I’ve never had anyone love me the way you do.”
“Then why?”
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I heard Hayley swallow, and when I looked down at her, the blues of her eyes looked like glass. “I was ashamed.”
My brow furrowed. “What?”
Her chin quivered for a brief second before she found her footing. “I was embarrassed for you to see where I used to live. What type of life I had before coming here.” Hayley’s hair flew into her face with a gust of wind. “I didn’t want you to see what my own mother chose over me.” Her head dropped a fraction, and my heart felt like it was falling down a rocky slope. “She didn’t love me enough to take care of me, and it hurts. I don’t like showing my weaknesses, not even to you, and the second you saw that trailer and the way my hands shook when I walked inside, you would have known. I couldn’t risk you trying to swoop in to save me this time. I couldn’t risk you yelling at her or trying to drag me out. I needed answers. So, I took Eric with me so I’d have someone to help me if I needed it. That’s why. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”
Jesus Christ. I pinched the bridge of my nose to keep my emotions in check. She was right. The second I would have seen her hurting, I would have done anything to make it stop—whether that was by dragging her out of that trailer, or making her mom feel like the piece of shit that she was. Whatever Hayley felt, I felt too, but ten times deeper.
And not to mention, I knew a little of what she felt. My mother chose something over me, too, and it did hurt. It hurt like hell.