But she also understood that she had to be strong. She couldn’t be the girl who had become a pawn because she was afraid to be on her own. She could love him, but she couldn’t be a slave to that love.
Drawing a shaky breath to bolster herself, she went down to breakfast in her robe.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d still be here,” she murmured, joining him at the table. It was almost ten.
“Why is Marco making you a lunch appointment with that professor from last night?” He glanced up from his tablet, took in her light makeup and the hair she’d pulled into a clip. His gaze lingered on her mouth until her lips tingled.
Then he seemed to gather himself behind an invisible wall. He looked into her eyes, seeking an answer to his question.
“Pardon? Oh, um, he wants to talk to me about modeling opportunities. I said he should get in touch with my assistant. I didn’t think he was serious. Do you mind?”
“No.” He spoke abruptly, sounded like he minded. “Don’t rush into anything, though. He might know people, but he might just want to be seen with you. Make sure he knows you don’t need the money and you’re doing him a favor by showing up.”
So cynical. She bit back a sigh.
“Then I should let him buy my lunch because I don’t actually have money?”
“You have a credit card and a generous allowance. If you want to carry cash, send Marco to the bank to withdraw some.”
She shook her head as she drew her napkin onto her lap. “I crossed out the allowance on the contract and put a question mark beside it. I expected we would discuss it, but we got married and here we are.”
“I wrote it back in with an extra zero. Pay attention to what you sign. This lunch is a bad idea if you won’t even do that much.”
“Gabriel, you know that makes me uncomfortable! I don’t want things—” She cut herself off as she turned over her coffee cup and discovered the diamond earrings on the saucer.
All their intimacy came back in a rush. Her uninhibited clinging to him, begging for more. She had offered him her soul last night and he was giving her...crushed carbon.
Because he thought that was all he was worth? All he had to give?
Her mouth felt wobbly as she picked up one platinum shank. The diamond caught the sunlight and winked rainbow sparks.
“I said only if you want me to have them.” The words scraped like sandpaper in the back of her throat. She had wanted to know what it felt like to be loved and instead she felt cheated.
“I do.” Something in his guarded tone put a sharp vice around her heart.
This was a warning, she instinctively recognized. He would give her diamonds and limitless credit cards, but nothing more. That was the deal.
Meanwhile, she had given him her passion, her virginity, and wanted to give him so much more.
He hadn’t said she couldn’t, she realized.
“I’ll accept them,” she decided, swallowing the lump in her throat. Her voice stayed husky. “Do you know why?”
His brows went up in cautious inquiry.
“Because someday, long after our hideously civil divorce, when I’m old and gray and feeling sentimental, I’ll put them on. My daughter will ask me where I got them and I’ll say, Your father would never let me wear them while he was alive. He knew it made me think of my first husband with deep fondness.” Love. So much love. Her whole body ached with it. “But I won’t tell her why that memory was such a good one, because there are some things children don’t want to know about their mothers.”
His expression didn’t change, but his cheek ticked. “I thought you didn’t want children.”
She shrugged. “I’ll still think of last night every time I wear these.”
She put them on and deliberately met his gaze, confident that now, so would he.
* * *
You have violated our terms of service. Your access has been revoked. Join me in the tenth-floor conference room.
“What? Why? Argh.” She knew immediately what had happened. She had run an update this morning and Gabriel’s software had overwritten all her code. She couldn’t restore from backup, either. She didn’t have access.
Devastated by the white screen and the stark note, she gave her useless keyboard a few more random stabs with her finger, then picked it up and rattled it in frustration.