After Anna and I are ready, Hannah Marie takes her sweet time, applying makeup like fine art.
I can’t help but ask the gnawing question in the back of my mind, “Do y’all think Samantha will be there this year?” I know last year she was here visiting her grandmother, but I can’t ease away the sinking feeling that’ll she be here tonight. I haven’t thought a lot about Samantha over the last year, which I guess means I am, in fact, over the issues we had in our “friendship.” It’s easier to be a friend to Rowen, and I’m not sure why. Maybe because I once loved him. Not that I didn’t love Samantha, but a friend kind of love is much different than a soul-crushing first love with a boy. First loves are raw and unforgiving, just like the heartbreak that comes afterwards.
“No, she is in Peru or somewhere fancy like that. I saw it on social media.” Relief floods my body and I let out a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding. Thank God.
When we pull up to the party, it’s the exact same as last year—cars ranging from Range Rovers to beat up Toyotas line the driveway and the impeccable green lawn. The house is bigger than most houses in our small town, and tons of people are casually strolling in and out of it. I’m ready for a good night tonight; I’m not the same Sadie I was last year when I was afraid of seeing everyone again. I’m friends with Rowen, Samantha and I have closed the chapter on our friendship (or “fakeship” as Hannah Marie likes to call it), and I’m free from annoying calls from Mark. I didn’t realize how bothersome they were, and I really didn’t realize just how obsessed he was with me until he showed up at my work, which was quite alarming if I truly think about it.
Hannah, Anna, and I take a three-person selfie so I can send it to Alicia, again. Just like last year. “It’s a tradition,” Anna says while snapping the picture. Then she types, “We miss you!” before firing it off to Alicia. They finally met Alicia during our second semester; we met up a few times through the school year… another thing that was different from last year.
“Sadie!” I hear Kyle yell my name and he all but tackles me into a hug. “I’m so glad you came. I have something rad to show you.” Kyle used to be my good friend, even before Rowen. We basically grew up together, going to grade school, middle, and then high school together. I’ve never seen him in a romantic way, but I wonder, if I hadn’t seen Rowen my junior year, if I would have fallen for Kyle. He’s cute enough; he has that boy-ish vibe to him, even now at age twenty.
“What do you have to show me?” I ask as he takes my hands and guides me through the house. I don’t see Rowen yet, and I have to put up a mental block so I don’t accidently hope he shows. Friends, we’re just friends.
When we reach the elegant wrought-iron bannister gracing the stairs to the next level, leading upstairs, I casually take my hand out of his and follow him up, watching his blonde hair bounce with every step. When we get to the top, there’s one long hallway of several rooms. I remember where his room is exactly. I know what you’re thinking, and I’ve only been up here because Kyle used to have his birthday parties here, and we’d all come upstairs playing hide-and-seek. I have never hooked up with Kyle and I won’t ever hook up with him; he’s too close to Rowen and it would be painful and awkward.
“Here, come look,” he says, nodding toward to his room. It’s much different in here than when we were kids. His red and blue walls are now painted a deep grey, and there’s no longer that pesky toy chest in the corner that I’d hidden in during an epic hide-and-seek game. There’s no longer clothes piling the floors; it’s tidy and precise, not much like the Kyle I know.
Over the music blaring downstairs, I say, “Redecorate?” and he grins.
“My mom did… you know how she is.” I laugh. His mom is the type of woman who likes to indulge herself with expensive things, especially her house décor. I get it; if I had all that money I’d want to spend it on nice things, too.
I sit on Kyle’s bed, crossing my legs since I have this skirt on that doesn’t do much to hide my legs or crotch, as he walks over to his closet. He pulls out a large piece of paper, like the size of a poster, and I eye him suspiciously until I see what he’s holding. I jump up in excitement. It’s an ACDC poster, the famous one with the words “Highway to Hell” plastered on the bottom below their bodies. The silver autographs shimmer in the one light beaming from up above.
“Oh my GOD! How did you get this?” I take it from his hands, carefully, running my fingers over the autographs.
“My dad scored it for me at some auction of his. He bid on it and didn’t really have anywhere for it, especially with my mom’s disapproval, so he gave it to me. I instantly thought of you.” I smile up at him and put my attention back on the poster. “I remember how you and Rowen always jammed to it back in the day.”
“We all did,” I say, my eyes glued to the autographs.
“I want you to have it.” My head snaps up so hard I’m half expecting it to just fall off my neck.
“What? No!”
“Yes!” He mocks my high-pitched voice.
“It’s too expensive. This is worth a lot of money, Kyle.” I don’t think I own something worth this much, maybe my car, but I don’t even own that. My parents do.
Kyle rolls his eyes, “My family has way too much money. Plus, I know you’ll never sell it.” I hug the poster to my chest because he’s right. I won’t sell this; I’ll cherish it forever.
“But what will your dad say if he knows it’s gone?” I’ve met Kyle’s dad before, and his mother. Heck, I’ve met his whole family and even though they come from A LOT of money, they’re all genuine and nice. He’s lucky because I’ve met some guys at college who come from money, and it seems like that’s all they’ve been taught to care about.
“Then I’ll tell him I gave it to the prettiest girl I know.” He says matter-of-factly and I blush when I grimace at him.
“What? Are you not used to people telling you you’re pretty? Because you are.” I shrug my shoulders.
“I’ve just been so guarded the last couple years that I haven’t really paid much attention to when someone says that. For the first year after everything, I hid because I was embarrassed at this… ” I point to my scar and his eyes follow the curve of it. They fill with pity and I’m quick to rebut. “Don’t feel bad. I’m good now; I don’t feel the need to hide it anymore.”
He smiles and says, “Good. Because your face is too pretty to hide.” He gently pushes my shoulder and we’re back to our playful relationship that we’ve had for years.
“Okay, enough compliments!” I put my hand up. “But thanks for this, it’s amazing.”
He smiles and he wraps his arm around my shoulders as we start to move down the long, hallway filled with bedrooms. “So, have any boyfriends back at Duke?” First he starts complimenting me, and now he’s asking if I’m taken… this seems very unlike Kyle.
“Well… ” I start by telling him the brief story of Mark and how Rowen had to act like my boyfriend at the club the other day to shoo him away, leaving out all the unnecessary feelings that were lingering in the air when Rowen and I touched, of course.
“So, what’s the deal with you two?”
Playing dumb, I answer, “What do you mean?” I have to almost yell this because we’re halfway down the stairs now and the music’s bass has picked up so much that my feet are shaking with each descending step.