You Were Never Honest (Never 2)

“I can walk,” I’m shooting out to his delight.

“But you feel faint, I wouldn’t want you to fall,” he says loud enough for our teacher to hear. Great, guess he’s going to be holding me all the way there.

Walking outside, I swear I’m going to punch him right in his smarmy face if he doesn’t let go of me.

“She can’t see us anymore, let go.”

“I'm concerned brownie, what kind of guy would I be if I didn’t lookout for my fellow student?”

“Drop the act, you don’t give two shits about me,” I say and I really hate smirks, unless Amias is doing it.

“You’re my ticket out of class, trust me you’re stuck with me until we get you to the nurse. Want me to carry you brownie? I bet you’d feel great wrapped around me.” If I was any other girl, surrounded by any other group of guys his words may stir a flicker of excitement within me, but it’s nauseating. And the way he licks his lips is nothing more than vulgarity dressed up in a pretty bow.

“You really are a pig, that is never going to happen Fin,” I shoot out, as his hand starts to wander lower on my back.

Sod it, I can’t resist I have to punch him. He knows it’s coming, so why is he smiling? Something is going on, damn it. Pull your fist back, fight the urge.

“Keep your hand above my waist and below my chest or so help me God, I will shove my foot so far up your arse you’ll be licking my toes all the way to summer.”

He’s stopped suddenly, great what’s he up to now? But he’s not looking at me, he’s looking in the distance.

“Brownie, do you know that guy or something?” That’s throwing me for six, why the sudden change and who is he talking about.

No, Mr. Terrifying.

“Do you know who that is?” I ask, please say yes, a name would be a big help.

“Not personally no, but I know Harrison is friends with him or at least associates with him on occasion. Nasty piece of work, the funny thing is, I don’t think he even goes to this school.” His eyes are scrunched together as though he’s trying to work

something out, but he shakes it off with a laugh.

I feel cold inside, an icy dread is filtering through me. If he doesn’t go to this school, then why is he here? How is he here? And why does he keep showing up?

The nurse has given me a pass for the day, I do feel bad for lying but at least I can sit down in comfort and see what was shoved in my locker this time.

These don’t make sense, lad left institutionalised after witnessing horrific event. Could teenagers really do something so heinous?

Dreams cut short, a future made bleaker.

There’s at least thirty of them, about a lad who I guess went off his rocker. But what did the teenagers do? And why were they shoved inside my locker, unless this is what they think my secret is? Well they made a vital mistake, my victim was female I have no idea who this guy is.

Hang on, they’re not all clippings, some are handwritten.

Runner, druggie, hitter, coward, destroyer.

On their own, I wouldn’t think twice about this, but with them written together it only proves that someone really does know what I did or they are getting closer to the truth. Please Mattias, help me to figure this out. But what if he can’t, what if I never discover who my tormenter is until it’s too late to do anything about it?

Maybe I really should come clean, at least to two of them. I don’t think Amias deserves any of my honesty not right now. If he won’t confess his sins to me, then he can find out with the rest of them. An implosion is about to occur, I just wonder how many pieces my heart will be in when it comes to an end.

I’m sitting here just waiting for the clock to hit four, Ivy came to check on me earlier things feel different between us though and I can’t put my finger on what has changed.

Walking to Mattias’ takes barely any time and I feel better now, especially as I’ve just spotted Leah. I haven’t spoken to her in ages.

“Hey Leah, how’s it going?” I ask, walking over to her with a smile on my face.

“It was going great until now. Fuck off Henleigh, I’ve made it pretty obvious I don’t want to be anywhere near your skanky arse.” There is utter disdain and venom pouring from her and I don’t understand why.

“Excuse me, what crawled up your backside and died? I haven’t done a damn thing to you,” I reply, her words hurt. It’s not what she’s saying, more the fact that she’d want to say them to me.