You Were Never Honest (Never 2)

“You know I really didn’t put any stock into what people said about you, you seemed decent enough but even the tart rumours are true it makes me wonder what else could be.” She looks me up and down, and clearlyhi finds me lacking. “You think you’re the hottest girl around and you work your way in until it’s too late to do anything about it. The others may think the sun shines out of your arse, but I know the truth. You’re a whore and if you ask me, you deserve everything that is coming your way.” Her face is scrunched up, it reminds me of a pug. It’s funny what pops into your head when cruelty is thrown at you.

She pushes me into the wall and I hit it hard, my breath whooshes out of my chest right before I slam my fist into her mouth.

“Screw you Leah, think what you want I don’t give two shits about your opinion.” My tone is hard and unforgiving, I’m done with this judgemental bitch.

“I wonder if Noah or Elijah will feel the same, see you around runner. Enjoy your boys while you have them, they’ll soon see through your facade and you’ll have to find another group to whore yourself out to.” With one last deprecating look, she waves her hand at me, as though she’s trying to rid herself of a bad smell and turns away.

She walks off as I pound my fist into Mattias’ door, I know I’ve surprised him but I can’t think straight. I can’t believe she flipped so easily and all because I’m dating more than one guy. The thing is, I’m not ashamed of it and I refuse to hide it from anyone.

Three hours! I have been sitting at the damn computer for three hours and although I can picture everything I have been shown in my mind, I still can’t wrap my head around it. IT has never been my strong suit and I know it’s only been three hours but I can’t see myself ever getting to the point where Mattias and Noah are at. I’m going to have to ask him, I can’t drag Noah into this and I won’t, not if I can avoid it. He has enough going on as it is, and he deserves to enjoy the rest of the school year with as little drama as possible. A difficult feat with me in his life, but I’m trying my hardest to keep things stress free.

“I don’t understand it, I hate technology give me paper and a pen any day of the week.” I feel like a failure, I wonder if this is what it’s like when you read a book a hundred times and it never sinks in. I’ve never had that, this must be my own personal downpour, it’s only ever going to wash away.

“Why don’t I just do whatever you need, for you. If I can’t do it at least you asked,” he says, it’s the perfect opener but my throat is closing up.

I need to get the words out. He could help me figure everything out. So why won’t my body let me ask, I think I’m scared that he’ll do it and give me what I seek. What if I don’t like what I find, what if I can’t handle it?

“Henleigh, are you okay?” I hope Mattias is never ruined by this harsh world, whether he’s untouched by the pain or danger or simply oblivious. I have no idea, I just hope for him, this life will remain kind instead of chewing him up and spitting him out into his own, personal hell.

“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m just trying to decide if it’s worth all the aggro and pain it could cause me. Okay, I wanted to see if I could determine who had been sending the emails as PastFinder and I also wanted to try and gain access to some sealed files. My Dad had Elliott’s accident and Devon’s trial buried and I need to dig it up.” I can’t keep the frantic, desperation from my voice, my hair is dishevelled from how many times I drag my fingers through it and no doubt my eyes are looking a little wild.

“I can try but who is Devon?” He asks and I can’t believe I have that many people in my life I can’t even remember who knows what.

“Devon was like a brother to me, right up until the point he was arrested for killing my actual brother and their friends,” my voice catches and I take a couple of moments to find my composure. “I don’t think he was responsible, but I can’t get anyone to tell me what really happened. I need to know, and I refuse to ask Noah. He has enough on his plate already.” I run my hands down my face, pulling the skin tight under my frustration.

“I agree, Noah shouldn’t be brought into this. I’m not as skilled as he is, but I’m good, I’ll make a list of all the information I will need. Get me that and I will see what I can do,” after he says this, he writes a list and hands it over to me. He isn’t thinking of all the ways this can go wrong for him, he’s only considering how it could help me.

I can answer it now, so there’s no point in beating around the bush if I don’t need to.

“Thanks for this Matti, I really do appreciate it,” I say softly, I don’t think I can truly convey how much his help means to me.

“I know that and don’t worry what the simple minded idiots think, we know they’re wrong.”

I give him a quick hug and leave, I think I’m going to go back to my room. I can’t risk being seen up and well by the staff, and it’s never a hindrance being cooped up with my ever growing pile of books.

What the ever loving… I can’t believe this. I didn’t think anyone knew my new email address, how did they find me.

Henleigh, Henleigh, Henleigh.

Did you really think you could hide from me? You can change you addy as much as you’d like, but I will always be able to reach you. Tick Tock Monterey, you’ve already lost one friend, who do you think will be the next to go. Tick Tock, tick tock, when the hand meets twelve your world will fall down and everyone will know your secret.

See you soon, Monterey, you loved being alone so much I’m about to give it back to you.

PastFinder

Definitely more creative this time. Blow me they keep threatening it but

nothing has happened. The thing is the wait is killing me. My heart is pounding, why can’t they just leave me alone.

I can hear my heart pounding, what a moron it’s the door. Of course it is, I’m just surprised it’s taken one of them this long to come over. The smile on my face is genuine but its gone in a moment, pulling open my door oh shit.

Trying to slam it shut isn’t working, he’s got his foot in the way and he’s a lot stronger than me. He pushes against it hard enough that the door rebounds and slams into my shoulder, jarring me straight away.

Moving back isn’t helping, it’s just giving him more room to follow me. Oh crap, he’s closing the door, what’s he going to do? Mr. Terrifying is in my room.

“Hello Henleigh, my oh my. You really are a beautiful girl, it’s a pity, really.” He uses a tone so icy; I expect to see frost pour from his mouth and form across my furniture until it freezes me to my spot.

“What’s a pity?” I ask, my voice breaking on the words.