Catching her thoughts, she shook her head and watched as her husband sank down to his knees to listen to the young boy whisper something into his ear. Leo listened intently for a moment, before breaking into a huge grin. Luca smiled up at him and they both laughed together at their secret joke.
And Dara felt her heart break completely.
Turning from the door, she walked quickly down the corridor and out to her car. The drive home passed in a blur. Her body felt numb and her insides shook violently.
Once she reached the familiar facade of the castello, she walked to the stone wall that overlooked the famous cliffs of Monterocca. And only then did she let the tears come. Great racking sobs escaped her throat and sent violent tremors through her.
It was unthinkably cruel that Leo should look so perfect surrounded by children. The one thing that she could never give him. She wept for the children she would never bear. The children she had denied wanting for so long.
Soon the sound of tyres squealing down the driveway interrupted her silence. Heavy steps were moving fast across the courtyard towards her.
Dara turned just as Leo came to a stop. ‘Where have you been?’ she asked innocently.
‘You know where,’ Leo gritted. ‘They told me that you arrived and then left—driving like a mad woman.’
‘You lied to me,’ Dara said, her voice almost a whisper.
‘I needed to understand.’ He stood with his arms crossed.
‘And do you? Do you understand now why it was so selfish of me to get so attached?’
‘To tell the truth, Dara, no—I don’t.’ He sighed. ‘You keep saying you’ve been selfish. But I don’t understand how you can consider giving your time and attention to those children as selfishness.’
‘I wasn’t giving anything, Leo. I was taking. I got too close. I let Luca get attached to me because it made me feel...needed.’ She took a deep shuddering breath, shaking her head at her own foolishness. ‘It made me feel like—like I was his mother.’ She bit her lip. ‘Can’t you see how wrong that is? I’ve given him hope for something that can never happen.’
‘What makes you believe that it can never happen, Dara?’
‘Look at me, for goodness’ sake. I’m a control freak who works crazy hours and spends half the year travelling around the world with my nightclub magnate former playboy husband.’
‘That’s...quite a mouthful.’ Leo’s brows rose.
‘It’s the truth.’ She shrugged. ‘We’re not family people. Aside from the fact that we can never have our own biological children.’
Leo walked past her to the ancient stone boundary wall, leaning over to peer down at the rough sea below them. ‘I might be a jet-setting former playboy, but I think I would be ten times the father that mine was.’
Dara froze. ‘Leo, I didn’t mean that you wouldn’t make a great father. Of course you would. You’re easy-going and kind. You’re reliable and intelligent. You would be amazing.’ She shook her head. ‘But you’re married to me.’
‘Dara, if it wasn’t for you I would still be going through life without a true purpose. Falling in love with you made me realize what is truly important in life. Three years ago if you had told me that I would want to spend the rest of my life living in this castle I would have laughed you out of the room.’ He turned to her, taking both of her hands in his. ‘But here I am. And this is the only place I want to be.’
‘I can’t be somebody’s mother. I just can’t.’
‘Dara, did you ever stop and think that maybe it’s okay not to be the perfect mother? Sometimes it’s okay just to try your best. I mean, you’re telling me that you’re a workaholic, and yet the matron told me that you’ve been visiting the orphanage three times a week. That’s a two-hour round trip, alone, while simultaneously running your own business, yes?’
Dara shrugged. ‘I made the time.’
‘Exactly. Because you care about this boy.’ Leo stepped forward, grasping her hands in his. ‘Dara, I went to that orphanage today because I wanted to understand you. So that I could make you happy.’ He paused for a moment. ‘I honestly had no idea of the effect it would have on me. I suppose that somewhere in the back of my mind I’ve always worried that being raised by parents like mine meant that I could never be a good parent myself.’
‘You would make a wonderful father, Leo,’ Dara said softly.