Fix Me

“How’s the cold?”

“Coming along.”

I heard a chair pull out and knew he was sitting down. “It’s nice out today.”

He wasn’t there to talk about the weather. He wasn’t there to see me because we were dating and he wasn’t working. I knew him well enough to know he wanted to talk about the surgery. “Okay. What’s on your mind?”

His soft laughter made me smile in spite of my mood. “You’re very perceptive.”

“I’m blind. Haven’t you heard? When you lose one sense, your others kick into high gear. I can hear the hesitation in your voice.”

“I’m not going to lie to you.”

“That’s good.”

“I was just having coffee with Ellis. Dr. Tanner.”

I had to fight to keep my lip from curling. “I know who Ellis is,” I said, my voice terse. “Did you have a nice time?”

“I did, but I wasn’t there to have a nice time. We talked about you. Well, not you specifically, but the surgery and her experience with it.”

Nodding slowly, I had nothing to say. “Oh.”

“She’s been all over the world, learning from the best. The surgery she is proposing sounds really promising. The people that have had it have had their vision restored.”

“Good for them.”

“Bree, I’ve asked Ellis to meet with you away from the hospital like we talked about.”

“And?”

“And she is willing to come here or meet you for coffee, whatever you’re comfortable with. And I can be there, or it can be just the two of you.”

“Did my dad put you up to this?” I asked.

“No. I haven’t even talked to him about it. This is totally up to you. And I don’t mean to pressure you. If you say no, then that’s that. I won’t say another word about it and I will support you no matter what you decide.?

??

Taking a drink of my water, I mulled over what I wanted to say. “You keep saying that, but I don’t get the feeling you think I shouldn’t do the surgery. You think I should let her cut into my eyes.”

“I think you should talk to her and ask any questions you have. I want you to be happy. I can feel your anxiety and your pain. I don’t want you to feel like you have to live in darkness for the rest of your life if there is the potential for another option.”

I groaned. I was so sick of talking about it. “I’ll think about it,” I said, repeating my usual answer.

He was quiet for a few minutes. “Okay. Let me know. I’m going to go unpack.”

“Have fun,” I said, realizing I sounded kind of snotty. “Sorry, I’m not mad at you. I’m just tired and this cold is making me cranky.”

“It’s okay. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

As I heard him walk away, I knew that he was trying to help. I knew his heart was in the right place and promised myself I would be better tomorrow. I would try to be normal and laugh with him. I didn’t want him to pity me. I reached for the apple, taking a bite and mulling over my life in general. I spent a lot of time with my thoughts and I was growing very tired of my own company.

“She’s alive!” Mel shouted. “And alone. Wow.”

“Ha. Ha. I spend a lot of time alone these days.”

She sat in the seat Luke had been in. “You look good,” she commented. “Really good. You’ve gotten a lot of sun lately.”